Article Clinging to a Victim Mindset versus Taking Personal Responsibility by Brad Austen (1 Viewer)

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Brad

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In life, we always have a choice in how we respond to situations, even situations that are outside of our control. Our default response could be to play the victim and not take personal responsibility for what we have created in life. But as we gradually evolve, the desire to take personal responsibility becomes more appealing and empowering. You may ask, 'What about other people who may have done negative or harmful things to me?' In this situation, others' actions may be outside our control, but how we respond is always within our control.

I don't like the word 'victim' or identifying with being a victim in life; it often leads to depression and suffering. Our personal circumstances can be viewed from many perspectives; I prefer to take the higher vantage point. It doesn't mean that your life will be perfect, or necessarily the way you want it to be, but by taking responsibility you will feel a lot better about your life.

I truly believe that many of us experience trauma on our Earth journey. However, if you see these as 'lessons' and experiences for the soul's evolution, you can view these traumas in a constructive way. Ask yourself, 'What is this experience teaching me?', 'What do I have to gain from this experience?' Often the hardest challenges we go through in life can propel us forward towards the greatest growth.

I believe we aren't here to suffer unnecessarily; our experiences are there to make us a wiser being. Often, the most evolved souls can choose the hardest paths because they are resilient and have chosen a path of higher spiritual growth. Souls that have chosen on a soul-level to experience illness or disability have often chosen these experiences for accelerated growth.

If we view life as happening to us, we may feel a victim. If we think of life as happening for us, we will likely feel more empowered. How you view your life is your choice, how others view your life is their choice and their reality. What is important is how you view your life and the choices you make. At any decision point, we can choose whether we make a choice coming from either fear or love.

Often, the fears we have are from our traumas, either from this life or past lives. They are opportunities to heal and clear these energies. When we clear and dissolve these fears, it is like letting go, bit by bit, of some of our baggage whereby we begin to feel lighter. If this is something you feel open to or ready to explore, start small. Negative emotions can be overwhelming, so it's important to be gentle with oneself.

Seeking support from a friend or a trained counselor can be helpful and at times necessary. It is by no means a failure to seek outside support. Sometimes, we may need medical help from a doctor if we have a chemical imbalance or mental illness. There is a lot of support out there; the key is taking the first step.

One of the things that helped me with my experience of depression was shifting the way I thought. It was a process of getting out of victim-mentality, and retraining myself to think in a more positive way. I think it was also a matter of accepting my past and bringing my focus to the present. We are all a combination of the totality of our experiences.

Practicing positive affirmations on a regular basis can be a great way to retrain the way you think. By focusing on what you are grateful for and the things we do want, it can really turn our lives around. Breaking the habit of focusing on what we don't want, through instead focusing on what we do want, can take practice and diligence. If you are new to affirmations, listening to an audio recording of positive affirmations online can be a great place to start.

If you practice neutrality and staying in the moment, instead of viewing your experiences as either good or bad, it can help the healing process. We are here in order for our experiences to make us wiser and more balanced. Like in a school, sometimes we need to repeat certain lessons before we can graduate to higher lessons. The important thing is to be open to learning and not be too hard on oneself. All of us can get there in the end.

Copyright Brad Austen 2021

https://www.mindful-meditations.com

Brad is an intuitive writer, channel, spiritual and meditation teacher and recording artist. He is passionate about writing and producing guided meditations to aid relaxation, healing and spiritual growth.
 

Linda

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Several years ago, I was in a less positive work environment. A friend asked me to counsel a group of Nuns who were looking to expand in central Texas. As we finished, they offered to pay me - and these words came out of my mouth (heart to mouth, rather than my head) - No need, but I'll take some prayers. As I spoke those words, my head knew that everything would change. Indeed it did - within two weeks income, career, and many friends were history. Traumatic is a good word for this time. Then began another great adventure that involved many more "letting go" opportunities. I would not change it, and the initial steps were just as you describe.
 

Lila

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This is just what I was contemplating today and you've said it beautifully. Thanks, Brad.

Just like a character I was reading about; he was a general who'd lost the war but had managed to make the space for his people to survive against great odds, then even more unexpectedly, was able to let himself + his family survive via a choice that was very difficult for him. It was realistically shown how his enemies so admired his way of being that they let him + his family live and, in fact, some of them became his friends. Others did not.

When all the choices feel like ones you'd never choose (this character was literally cornered so that was his situation) and you choose to go forward into what awaits you in your best way, then you make room for the truly unexpected; sometimes we call these miracles :-D though some do not resonate this term. I sometimes call them 'everyday miracles' as it feels like I (or whoever) have a very real part to play in making them happen in everyday life. That piece of ownership, however small, feels empowering.

Making me like the book even more was the storyline in which another character in the book chose the completely opposite response to the same situation (she successfully took up the generalship after him and also got cornered). Both characters were cornered and their armies completely pummelled, each made a conscious choice, one completely different from the other, and each had the peace of having made that choice a conscious one, even when feeling completely cornered and stomped upon. I find this beautiful storytelling underlining how our choices are our own, no matter which choice we make and no matter the circumstances. It is also up to us how we feel about them.
 
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Brad

Brad

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www.mindful-meditations.com
Several years ago, I was in a less positive work environment. A friend asked me to counsel a group of Nuns who were looking to expand in central Texas. As we finished, they offered to pay me - and these words came out of my mouth (heart to mouth, rather than my head) - No need, but I'll take some prayers. As I spoke those words, my head knew that everything would change. Indeed it did - within two weeks income, career, and many friends were history. Traumatic is a good word for this time. Then began another great adventure that involved many more "letting go" opportunities. I would not change it, and the initial steps were just as you describe.
Thanks for sharing Linda. Life is interesting sometimes where by sometimes change is forced upon us and other times it's more of our own choosing. For me, being in Melbourne and in lockdown, it has been a lesson in 'letting go' of what I cannot control, which has been a lot. Practicing being grateful for what I do have and trying to focus on the positives. Also, reminding myself that I wanted to be on planet Earth at this time, however chaotic it may seem.lol
 
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Brad

Brad

Spiritual & Meditation Teacher
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Jul 27, 2016
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396
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www.mindful-meditations.com
This is just what I was contemplating today and you've said it beautifully. Thanks, Brad.

Just like a character I was reading about; he was a general who'd lost the war but had managed to make the space for his people to survive against great odds, then even more unexpectedly, was able to let himself + his family survive via a choice that was very difficult for him. It was realistically shown how his enemies so admired his way of being that they let him + his family live and, in fact, some of them became his friends. Others did not.

When all the choices feel like ones you'd never choose (this character was literally cornered so that was his situation) and you choose to go forward into what awaits you in your best way, then you make room for the truly unexpected; sometimes we call these miracles :-D though some do not resonate this term. I sometimes call them 'everyday miracles' as it feels like I (or whoever) have a very real part to play in making them happen in everyday life. That piece of ownership, however small, feels empowering.

Making me like the book even more was the storyline in which another character in the book chose the completely opposite response to the same situation (she successfully took up the generalship after him and also got cornered). Both characters were cornered and their armies completely pummelled, each made a conscious choice, one completely different from the other, and each had the peace of having made that choice a conscious one, even when feeling completely cornered and stomped upon. I find this beautiful storytelling underlining how our choices are our own, no matter which choice we make and no matter the circumstances. It is also up to us how we feel about them.
Thanks for sharing Lila. It's interesting isn't it. We are all making choices all of the time, either consciously or unconsciously. Some choices may be what you can call a lower choice or a higher choice, and because we have free will we can go in many directions, and hopefully learn along the way.

I must admit I have some people in my life that I've had to let go, as painful as it was, they were clinging to the victim, and I was choosing another path. As a light worker or healer it's interesting that we can attract certain people that are in need of healing, but really we are only responsible for our own path and own healing. Many lessons along the way! :)
 
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Linda

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Also, reminding myself that I wanted to be on planet Earth at this time, however chaotic it may seem.lol
Yeah, I do that, too. I also send "messages home" on what might work better for the next time. :-))
 
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