Hi all,
Brace yourselves: a TL;DR is coming
I was recently browsing a forum I haven't frequented for about a decade now, left by the wayside largely because I stopped investigating this aspect of my life and thus such forums became largely irrelevant. However, my rekindled interest has been sending me off down all kinds of avenues to revisit and re-examine previous 'data', for lack of a better term.
A lot of said revisiting has brought up (largely via conversations with others who have known me all or most of my life) memories of experiences I have long since locked away and forgotten. Dredging (an apt way of putting it) all of this up, there came a point at which everything seemed to be very dark. I became panicked and felt as though I was losing my grip on reality - there was and perhaps still is something buried deep within me; it is both colossal in its scope and fervent in its attempts to remain in the shadows. At first it felt insidious but very quickly became overpowering. Terrifying, even. Much like how Jung's family witnessed 'paranormal activity' around his house whilst he was investigating his shadow, so too did my own family. Most notably my wife had an unfavourable interaction with a shadowy being. Whilst my wife is open-minded in some regards, this was a bridge too far for her - it left her screaming, confused and extremely unsettled. This exploration has therefore affected not just myself, but also those around me.
I've had chance to reflect, integrate and make peace with certain things, and certainly the more negative activity has calmed - but connecting the dots has proven to be a challenging time to say the very least.
In a sense, I wasn't entirely honest when I first came here. I had been reinvestigating whatever 'this' is since about Summer 2015. When I arrived here after Lorna linked me, I was in a state hope. Having experienced only 'somewhat misguided' (to put it lightly) individuals during my previous explorations, I had become almost completely dissuaded from further investigation. Once again I ceased looking within, convinced intellectually that all of this was nonsense... all the while having my gut screaming at me to push on.
Fortunately, I found what I was looking for within this community. A big 'thank you' to all who have interacted with me thus far. You have given me hope that this phenomenon (plural, if that's the case) also affects sound-of-mind seekers. Phew.
Anyway, preamble done. Here's what I posted on another forum about a decade ago:
Ha ha! Oh, brilliant. So after typing all of the above, I went to said forum only to find that it has closed down for maintenance. Rather than end on a cliff-hanger, I'll highlight as best I can what transpired on the night which my 21 year old self spoke of.
My dad is a very deep individual. Perhaps the deepest I know.
On the surface, he is somewhat grumpy and aloof - not unlike myself. Whereas I am still grumpy and aloof underneath that however, my dad has a rare depth and complexity of, I guess, emotion. He doesn't show it to the world, and in fact has a side to him which is so deeply buried that his own wife doesn't know of it even after 30+ years of marriage. But it goes beyond even that.
Up until very recently, my dad used to enjoy having a few beers at weekend as a way to unwind. Very rarely, his tongue would loosen after consuming a few beverages and he'd speak of experiences that he'd had throughout his life. I only know a small amount of the total - quite clearly he has something buried deep, but I can say with certainty that his experiences at the very least parallel my own and, quite probably, exceed them.
One night after he'd had one too many, he really opened up to me in a way which he hasn't ever since.
I don't recall how the conversation came about, and I'm sure my original post contains more details than this, but in a nutshell we ended up discussing 'the other side'. He told me that he had the ability to see that which was hidden, and advised caution because there was a war raging between "light and dark". But then things got really weird.
He stuck his hands out in front of him and made gestures as though he was manipulating or feeling something in the room which I couldn't see. He laughed and said "Feel that!" I scoffed and declined, thinking he was just being a drunken fool. He insisted that I 'feel' whatever he was, so I half-heartedly stuck my hands out, rolled my eyes and said something long the lines of "There's nothing there. I feel nothing".
My dad smirked, took my right hand and placed it where his was. Suddenly, my entire body fizzed with an energy which made my hairs stand on end. "What the hell is that?!" or similar escaped my mouth in amazement. My dad laughed and released my hand, at which point the sensation ended. I reached for it again but there was nothing to be found.
He then told me that this is the reason why he drinks. He can "Play" with these things at will, but he said that the dark is predominantly attracted to him and so it scares him; with alcohol in his system, he has more courage to engage it. He ended the conversation by saying that I have "this gift" and a "very powerful third eye", but that for some reason I was closed off to it. He said I must re-open myself, because I will be able to sense and experience that which he does.
My dad has had some very dark experiences. Much to my surprise (I found this out only a few months back) he's also well versed in the field of UFOs and ET. I had no idea before he mentioned it. Turns out he was all over that stuff long before I came into the world.
From what little I know, he has seen entities and craft which defy the conventional.
It is a long story cut short. At the time, our chat left me WTF-ing like crazy. I had no way to understand or rationalise what had occurred. My dad hasn't spoken of it since, and broaching the subject just saw him close down.
I in fact had forgotten all about the experience until I recently rediscovered the forum post I wish to quote. When (if) the forum reopens its gates, and if I can still access said post, I will paste it in here.
So:
1) WTF does this mean?
2) WTF was he doing with his 'magic hands'?
p)
3) Has anybody else had experience with this sort of thing?
Post chat, I concluded that my dad has secretly been a "Psychic powerhouse" all of his life. Perhaps this is why he hides a large part of himself in the shadows. He clearly doesn't like to talk about it. Perhaps, not unlike myself, he feels that talking about it makes him appear mentally unsound. I do know one thing for sure, though - whatever he's had contact with? It has scared the bejesus out of him many times over.
Brace yourselves: a TL;DR is coming
I was recently browsing a forum I haven't frequented for about a decade now, left by the wayside largely because I stopped investigating this aspect of my life and thus such forums became largely irrelevant. However, my rekindled interest has been sending me off down all kinds of avenues to revisit and re-examine previous 'data', for lack of a better term.
A lot of said revisiting has brought up (largely via conversations with others who have known me all or most of my life) memories of experiences I have long since locked away and forgotten. Dredging (an apt way of putting it) all of this up, there came a point at which everything seemed to be very dark. I became panicked and felt as though I was losing my grip on reality - there was and perhaps still is something buried deep within me; it is both colossal in its scope and fervent in its attempts to remain in the shadows. At first it felt insidious but very quickly became overpowering. Terrifying, even. Much like how Jung's family witnessed 'paranormal activity' around his house whilst he was investigating his shadow, so too did my own family. Most notably my wife had an unfavourable interaction with a shadowy being. Whilst my wife is open-minded in some regards, this was a bridge too far for her - it left her screaming, confused and extremely unsettled. This exploration has therefore affected not just myself, but also those around me.
I've had chance to reflect, integrate and make peace with certain things, and certainly the more negative activity has calmed - but connecting the dots has proven to be a challenging time to say the very least.
In a sense, I wasn't entirely honest when I first came here. I had been reinvestigating whatever 'this' is since about Summer 2015. When I arrived here after Lorna linked me, I was in a state hope. Having experienced only 'somewhat misguided' (to put it lightly) individuals during my previous explorations, I had become almost completely dissuaded from further investigation. Once again I ceased looking within, convinced intellectually that all of this was nonsense... all the while having my gut screaming at me to push on.
Fortunately, I found what I was looking for within this community. A big 'thank you' to all who have interacted with me thus far. You have given me hope that this phenomenon (plural, if that's the case) also affects sound-of-mind seekers. Phew.
Anyway, preamble done. Here's what I posted on another forum about a decade ago:
Ha ha! Oh, brilliant. So after typing all of the above, I went to said forum only to find that it has closed down for maintenance. Rather than end on a cliff-hanger, I'll highlight as best I can what transpired on the night which my 21 year old self spoke of.
My dad is a very deep individual. Perhaps the deepest I know.
On the surface, he is somewhat grumpy and aloof - not unlike myself. Whereas I am still grumpy and aloof underneath that however, my dad has a rare depth and complexity of, I guess, emotion. He doesn't show it to the world, and in fact has a side to him which is so deeply buried that his own wife doesn't know of it even after 30+ years of marriage. But it goes beyond even that.
Up until very recently, my dad used to enjoy having a few beers at weekend as a way to unwind. Very rarely, his tongue would loosen after consuming a few beverages and he'd speak of experiences that he'd had throughout his life. I only know a small amount of the total - quite clearly he has something buried deep, but I can say with certainty that his experiences at the very least parallel my own and, quite probably, exceed them.
One night after he'd had one too many, he really opened up to me in a way which he hasn't ever since.
I don't recall how the conversation came about, and I'm sure my original post contains more details than this, but in a nutshell we ended up discussing 'the other side'. He told me that he had the ability to see that which was hidden, and advised caution because there was a war raging between "light and dark". But then things got really weird.
He stuck his hands out in front of him and made gestures as though he was manipulating or feeling something in the room which I couldn't see. He laughed and said "Feel that!" I scoffed and declined, thinking he was just being a drunken fool. He insisted that I 'feel' whatever he was, so I half-heartedly stuck my hands out, rolled my eyes and said something long the lines of "There's nothing there. I feel nothing".
My dad smirked, took my right hand and placed it where his was. Suddenly, my entire body fizzed with an energy which made my hairs stand on end. "What the hell is that?!" or similar escaped my mouth in amazement. My dad laughed and released my hand, at which point the sensation ended. I reached for it again but there was nothing to be found.
He then told me that this is the reason why he drinks. He can "Play" with these things at will, but he said that the dark is predominantly attracted to him and so it scares him; with alcohol in his system, he has more courage to engage it. He ended the conversation by saying that I have "this gift" and a "very powerful third eye", but that for some reason I was closed off to it. He said I must re-open myself, because I will be able to sense and experience that which he does.
My dad has had some very dark experiences. Much to my surprise (I found this out only a few months back) he's also well versed in the field of UFOs and ET. I had no idea before he mentioned it. Turns out he was all over that stuff long before I came into the world.
From what little I know, he has seen entities and craft which defy the conventional.
It is a long story cut short. At the time, our chat left me WTF-ing like crazy. I had no way to understand or rationalise what had occurred. My dad hasn't spoken of it since, and broaching the subject just saw him close down.
I in fact had forgotten all about the experience until I recently rediscovered the forum post I wish to quote. When (if) the forum reopens its gates, and if I can still access said post, I will paste it in here.
So:
1) WTF does this mean?
2) WTF was he doing with his 'magic hands'?
p)3) Has anybody else had experience with this sort of thing?
Post chat, I concluded that my dad has secretly been a "Psychic powerhouse" all of his life. Perhaps this is why he hides a large part of himself in the shadows. He clearly doesn't like to talk about it. Perhaps, not unlike myself, he feels that talking about it makes him appear mentally unsound. I do know one thing for sure, though - whatever he's had contact with? It has scared the bejesus out of him many times over.
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... from a centered place.
