Here is an extract from my book depicting my own twin flame journey. I haven’t seen my twin flame since this date but we do speak on the phone and message intermittently.
The nickname had for Liam amongst others was ‘Larry let down’. He was an unreliable pain in the arse.
But somehow I always him a second, third and fourth chance.
I joked that he had more lives than a cat with me and that i’d archived his number more times than I cared to think about. He always came back like a wart I’d got used to having around.
The truth was although he went missing sometimes for months. When he came back I’d have a spark of inspiration. I almost needed him to spur me on.
He was supportive and told me I could do anything. ‘You’re destined for great things Els’, he’d say. I believed him.
Yes, he was a player well more of an opportunist. A player would charm and gush he just smiled and glinted, as we weren’t having sex that wasn’t his motivation with me.
I wasn’t throwing myself at him like other women did. I’d tried that and it didn’t work. He was like an emotionless impermible block when it came to physical contact with me. Although when we did once have sex it was amazing, we had a great energy. Although looking back I think he took some warming up. Maybe he was shy? A player, shy?. It was just me, I was so repulsive that the thought of shagging me turned him away or maybe it was because I’d been banished to the friend zone now or was he scared of hurting the girlfriend?
I think I inspired him as much as he did me so emotional contact was wonderful.Lengthy chats for hours, reams of messages about weird and wacky ideas always left both of us buzzing and excited.
In the off chance he would visit, we would sit and chat for hours 3 or 4 hrs at a time.
‘Am I talking too much?, am I doing your head in?’, I’d say as he sat there with his eyes closed listening to me.
‘He’d open them up and shake his head, looking back deeply into my eyes and say no, not in the slightest’, with a satisfying sigh,smiling back at me like I was some exotic creature he’s just discovered.
He looked fascinated I mean genuinely fascinated like he’d never met anyone like me before. For him I was different, unique intriguing. He never said, he wouldn’t say for fear of me taking the piss. I just knew.. His body language and eyes said it all.
He moved in closer as if to kiss me and stopped himself but hugged me instead . ‘Right then beaut, I’ve got to go!’ I’ll be in trouble with the girlfriend if I’m late back. I don’t want to upset her’, he said.
‘Don’t want to upset her?’,I thought. ‘Well she wouldn’t be bloody too happy you sat at mine for 4hrs chatting and looking into my eyes, would she’, I thought but too scared to say for fear he wouldn’t come back.
‘oh and by the way, go to that audition, you’ll smash it!’, you’re bloody brilliant you know,he smiled at me and off he went. I didn’t know when I would see him again, I never knew.
I went to the audition and got a part and well and truly ‘smashed it’. Thanks once again Liam.
The nickname had for Liam amongst others was ‘Larry let down’. He was an unreliable pain in the arse.
But somehow I always him a second, third and fourth chance.
I joked that he had more lives than a cat with me and that i’d archived his number more times than I cared to think about. He always came back like a wart I’d got used to having around.
The truth was although he went missing sometimes for months. When he came back I’d have a spark of inspiration. I almost needed him to spur me on.
He was supportive and told me I could do anything. ‘You’re destined for great things Els’, he’d say. I believed him.
Yes, he was a player well more of an opportunist. A player would charm and gush he just smiled and glinted, as we weren’t having sex that wasn’t his motivation with me.
I wasn’t throwing myself at him like other women did. I’d tried that and it didn’t work. He was like an emotionless impermible block when it came to physical contact with me. Although when we did once have sex it was amazing, we had a great energy. Although looking back I think he took some warming up. Maybe he was shy? A player, shy?. It was just me, I was so repulsive that the thought of shagging me turned him away or maybe it was because I’d been banished to the friend zone now or was he scared of hurting the girlfriend?
I think I inspired him as much as he did me so emotional contact was wonderful.Lengthy chats for hours, reams of messages about weird and wacky ideas always left both of us buzzing and excited.
In the off chance he would visit, we would sit and chat for hours 3 or 4 hrs at a time.
‘Am I talking too much?, am I doing your head in?’, I’d say as he sat there with his eyes closed listening to me.
‘He’d open them up and shake his head, looking back deeply into my eyes and say no, not in the slightest’, with a satisfying sigh,smiling back at me like I was some exotic creature he’s just discovered.
He looked fascinated I mean genuinely fascinated like he’d never met anyone like me before. For him I was different, unique intriguing. He never said, he wouldn’t say for fear of me taking the piss. I just knew.. His body language and eyes said it all.
He moved in closer as if to kiss me and stopped himself but hugged me instead . ‘Right then beaut, I’ve got to go!’ I’ll be in trouble with the girlfriend if I’m late back. I don’t want to upset her’, he said.
‘Don’t want to upset her?’,I thought. ‘Well she wouldn’t be bloody too happy you sat at mine for 4hrs chatting and looking into my eyes, would she’, I thought but too scared to say for fear he wouldn’t come back.
‘oh and by the way, go to that audition, you’ll smash it!’, you’re bloody brilliant you know,he smiled at me and off he went. I didn’t know when I would see him again, I never knew.
I went to the audition and got a part and well and truly ‘smashed it’. Thanks once again Liam.