Hello Roundtable. I did a shamanic journey last night, and I need to talk about it. Since shamanic journeying is the spirit travelling to other worlds, I figured this was the best forum thread for it.
A little back history that relates to what I experienced last night: When I was 14 I know I was abducted by ETs. I dreamed of the grays and the next morning all the skin was missing in one spot on the back of my hand. Where the skin was missing, it was a perfect isosceles triangle. The flesh where the skin would have covered was light green. I knew this was not normal. When I showed my parents and told them about my dreams, they brushed it off as I must have cut my hand on my braces in my sleep. My intuition knew that wasn't the case. I never remembered what the ETs did to me, but I had more nights of dreaming of them and knew they were visitations or abductions. I always knew what happened was not good and I never wanted to remember.
Right now I am in the middle of a major self-healing. It is something I have avoided a long time and involves many aspects and traumas. One of the core aspects is the heartbreak from what I have always felt came from the person I was meant to be with. It always felt like we were supposed to be together but he chose differently. I had visions of our future together. Over time I have started to see that is not true, that he was not meant for me and something in the way I perceived that or felt it was wrong or messed up. To keep his identity private, I will call him John for this journal/post. I've known since I admitted to not having fully recovered from it that this self-healing will take several months. I have an altar set up specifically just for this purpose and will keep it up until the healing is complete.
Last night I felt the need to do a shamanic journey for myself related to this healing. I journeyed and felt the strong need for all my protective talismans and guides. I kept calling one protective guide after another, and when I couldn't readily think of anymore to accompany, one of my guides put a hand on my shoulder and said "Stop. You are full of fear. This is plenty." So, subconsciously I knew what I was about to face.
I journeyed to the lower world and ended up seeing a part of it I have never seen before. I traveled through the parts I am familiar with and then crossed a large desert which I had never seen. My intention of the journey was to answer a specific question, "Why do I still think of John?" It felt very important I search for the answer to this because I do not actively think about him. I will be in the middle of something and he will pop up or his name will like an intrusion.
So, as I am walking in this desert I start to see something in the distance. As I get closer the face of an ET appears right before me. It looked like a gray but taller. He had some sort of black lens over one eye. It had a rod going down from the lens over his eye and had another black lens at the bottom of this rod that went down past its chin. I brushed the image of it away and continued focusing on my question and walked towards a scene I saw in the distance. Once I got close enough to see what the scene was, my guides stopped me from going any further.
Shock and confusion filled me as I saw my 14 year old self on a strange table. It looked sort of like a gynecology table but all metal and not a flat table. It was more like a wire frame shaped to hold a human body with braces. A group of tall grays were surrounding the table "working" on me. I looked scared and in pain. Some were working on my brain, some were working on my lower body, and some on my left leg.
When watching the ones working on my brain, my reiki guide said "crossing your wires." Now last week, my reiki main guide and guides gave me a major healing in meditation. During that meditation I asked her "What are you doing?" and she replied "uncrossing your wires." So when she said the aliens were crossing my wires, I got goosebumps and knew it was true.
I tried focusing to see what they were doing to my lower body. I started to feel sensations where I get menstrual cramps and my guides blurred what was being done. At that moment I knew they were messing with my uterus and my guides were protecting me from re-living that. My lower left leg started to itch and burn. I saw them poking and pulling at the skin and flesh with tools. Then I noticed a taller, larger gray sort of standing back overseeing the whole procedure. As I noticed him (he felt like a him), he slowly turned and stared at my present day self watching the whole scene. He noticed me watching and saw me. It was the same gray with the strange black lens thing covering half his face.
As this happened, I felt fear and a sense of "Uh oh" or "Oh crap!" Then I felt my guides pulling me backwards by my arms and screaming "RUN!" I started to climb on top of my polar bear totem for him to carry me, but he passed me to my rhino and told my rhino "you are faster, you take her." So I climbed on my rhino's back and it ran, speeding me away out of the lower world. As we started to gallop away, my protector guides put up an energy barrier/wall between us and the scene with the grays and the gray leader. They stayed and I felt/heard almost like a battle raging behind me.
I have more questions and I need to meditate on what I learned. Obviously my first thought was what does my abduction have to do with John and him intruding my thoughts? When I thought about that in the journey before it came to an end, my claircognizance told me that the grays have no emotions. They crossed my wires in order to study my emotions. John has greatly affected me and my emotions my whole life although I thought I got over him and married someone else (who I am still with) but John still haunts my dreams and pops into my mind intrusively. I feel that their studying my emotions and my connection to John are related.
Now, a couple years ago I had done a soul retrieval related to my broken heart from John. I did a healing process over a month to get that part of my soul back and integrate it and forgive him. I thought that was the end of it, that I had healed that completely. Before Christmas this past year is when in meditation I learned that there is still a whole lot left to release, forgive, and heal. That is when I started setting up my altar for this healing process and preparing. It took a couple years for me to stop running from it and being in denial.
Anyway, I felt the need to share this with others, somewhere where I won't be called crazy or ridiculed. This is stuff I can't even share with my husband. I wanted to know if anyone has had any similar experiences to this. I just want to talk about it because I have a lot to figure out. Also, I am really pissed off at these ETs for messing with me and my life. My claircognizance also is telling me that them "crossing my wires" in my brain has something to do with my bi-polar disorder.
I plan on meditating on what I learned last night and also asking my healing guides if it is possible to undo everything that they did to me.
A little back history that relates to what I experienced last night: When I was 14 I know I was abducted by ETs. I dreamed of the grays and the next morning all the skin was missing in one spot on the back of my hand. Where the skin was missing, it was a perfect isosceles triangle. The flesh where the skin would have covered was light green. I knew this was not normal. When I showed my parents and told them about my dreams, they brushed it off as I must have cut my hand on my braces in my sleep. My intuition knew that wasn't the case. I never remembered what the ETs did to me, but I had more nights of dreaming of them and knew they were visitations or abductions. I always knew what happened was not good and I never wanted to remember.
Right now I am in the middle of a major self-healing. It is something I have avoided a long time and involves many aspects and traumas. One of the core aspects is the heartbreak from what I have always felt came from the person I was meant to be with. It always felt like we were supposed to be together but he chose differently. I had visions of our future together. Over time I have started to see that is not true, that he was not meant for me and something in the way I perceived that or felt it was wrong or messed up. To keep his identity private, I will call him John for this journal/post. I've known since I admitted to not having fully recovered from it that this self-healing will take several months. I have an altar set up specifically just for this purpose and will keep it up until the healing is complete.
Last night I felt the need to do a shamanic journey for myself related to this healing. I journeyed and felt the strong need for all my protective talismans and guides. I kept calling one protective guide after another, and when I couldn't readily think of anymore to accompany, one of my guides put a hand on my shoulder and said "Stop. You are full of fear. This is plenty." So, subconsciously I knew what I was about to face.
I journeyed to the lower world and ended up seeing a part of it I have never seen before. I traveled through the parts I am familiar with and then crossed a large desert which I had never seen. My intention of the journey was to answer a specific question, "Why do I still think of John?" It felt very important I search for the answer to this because I do not actively think about him. I will be in the middle of something and he will pop up or his name will like an intrusion.
So, as I am walking in this desert I start to see something in the distance. As I get closer the face of an ET appears right before me. It looked like a gray but taller. He had some sort of black lens over one eye. It had a rod going down from the lens over his eye and had another black lens at the bottom of this rod that went down past its chin. I brushed the image of it away and continued focusing on my question and walked towards a scene I saw in the distance. Once I got close enough to see what the scene was, my guides stopped me from going any further.
Shock and confusion filled me as I saw my 14 year old self on a strange table. It looked sort of like a gynecology table but all metal and not a flat table. It was more like a wire frame shaped to hold a human body with braces. A group of tall grays were surrounding the table "working" on me. I looked scared and in pain. Some were working on my brain, some were working on my lower body, and some on my left leg.
When watching the ones working on my brain, my reiki guide said "crossing your wires." Now last week, my reiki main guide and guides gave me a major healing in meditation. During that meditation I asked her "What are you doing?" and she replied "uncrossing your wires." So when she said the aliens were crossing my wires, I got goosebumps and knew it was true.
I tried focusing to see what they were doing to my lower body. I started to feel sensations where I get menstrual cramps and my guides blurred what was being done. At that moment I knew they were messing with my uterus and my guides were protecting me from re-living that. My lower left leg started to itch and burn. I saw them poking and pulling at the skin and flesh with tools. Then I noticed a taller, larger gray sort of standing back overseeing the whole procedure. As I noticed him (he felt like a him), he slowly turned and stared at my present day self watching the whole scene. He noticed me watching and saw me. It was the same gray with the strange black lens thing covering half his face.
As this happened, I felt fear and a sense of "Uh oh" or "Oh crap!" Then I felt my guides pulling me backwards by my arms and screaming "RUN!" I started to climb on top of my polar bear totem for him to carry me, but he passed me to my rhino and told my rhino "you are faster, you take her." So I climbed on my rhino's back and it ran, speeding me away out of the lower world. As we started to gallop away, my protector guides put up an energy barrier/wall between us and the scene with the grays and the gray leader. They stayed and I felt/heard almost like a battle raging behind me.
I have more questions and I need to meditate on what I learned. Obviously my first thought was what does my abduction have to do with John and him intruding my thoughts? When I thought about that in the journey before it came to an end, my claircognizance told me that the grays have no emotions. They crossed my wires in order to study my emotions. John has greatly affected me and my emotions my whole life although I thought I got over him and married someone else (who I am still with) but John still haunts my dreams and pops into my mind intrusively. I feel that their studying my emotions and my connection to John are related.
Now, a couple years ago I had done a soul retrieval related to my broken heart from John. I did a healing process over a month to get that part of my soul back and integrate it and forgive him. I thought that was the end of it, that I had healed that completely. Before Christmas this past year is when in meditation I learned that there is still a whole lot left to release, forgive, and heal. That is when I started setting up my altar for this healing process and preparing. It took a couple years for me to stop running from it and being in denial.
Anyway, I felt the need to share this with others, somewhere where I won't be called crazy or ridiculed. This is stuff I can't even share with my husband. I wanted to know if anyone has had any similar experiences to this. I just want to talk about it because I have a lot to figure out. Also, I am really pissed off at these ETs for messing with me and my life. My claircognizance also is telling me that them "crossing my wires" in my brain has something to do with my bi-polar disorder.
I plan on meditating on what I learned last night and also asking my healing guides if it is possible to undo everything that they did to me.