I love to get my spiritual guidance from my higher self/selves through remembering my dreams. The thing that could improve is that I could keep a little recording device by my bedhead, as I tend to have a bit of inner dialogue after waking up from a dream, to see what I can squeeze from the imagery, or perhaps to get a bird’s eye view of the whole dreamscape, before that fades away and waking life becomes paramount.
This is one in a series of dreams I’ve been having, along similar themes, which involve working, and failing at what I have been requested to do. Since my redundancy nearly 4 years ago, I spent 3 years returning to variations of that place of work in dream state, and it was more like an addiction to being there, and not being able to let it go, although it has long gone in the physical. It involved “ghosting” alongside others who were working at the workplace, and either being completely ignored, or my having to explain to them in a crestfallen manner that I was no longer required there, but I still had all my skillsets and the management was making a big mistake. Those dreams sometimes even involved a complete renovation or rebuild of the corporate building, so that my dreaming body could see and understand that they hadn’t stayed stagnant during the time that has passed since I exited their door.
This dream however, although it uses the imagery and scenario of the workplace, has moved on from that type of “failure” dream where I feel I haven’t matched up to some kind of mark, or I feel unappreciated, to being one that I feel my guides have conjured up so that I can finally “get it”. We all think we’ve already got it, but our dream state can keep telling us otherwise, and if the same types of mechanisms come forward in the dream, perhaps we haven’t fully gotten it yet.
That brings me to two dreams about manual typewriters (within the space of a week). I didn’t note down the date of the first dream, and I now recall only a snippet of it. But it does involve me needing to hold and carry the type of little portable manual typewriter that was popular in the 1970s and 1980 with journalists – the kind of thing that metamorphosed into laptops in the 1990s, and nobody then had those little manual typewriters ever again. But when I looked down at what I was gingerly holding in both my outstretched arms, that amazingly nimble tool of work had been through a process where it had been fully coated (and who knows, perhaps metamorphosed) into a chocolate typewriter. The typewriter that it was now could have bits and pieces break off it, such as its manual tabulator or carriage return, if I wasn’t careful. And, I was told by someone else in the room that I had to carry it extremely carefully, because we were on our way to the next and final step of the transformation – the chocolate glazing process. If I could just get my beautiful chocolate creation that was - and now wasn’t - a typewriter to the glaze, then I could relax as it would take on a life of its own and be fully able to take care of itself in its new environment. The glaze would be the final “fixing” and the process would be complete.
Moving on to dream number two.
In this dream, which was quite convoluted and complex, I actually was allowed to perform some work, and it was as if I was on a trial basis. It involved typing, (because I had typed from the age of 6 when I owned my first old, black, solid manual typewriter, and had progressed on through my youth to become a fast touch typist hitting speeds of 100wpm). My life experience has been as a secretary, and that also required a highly developed degree of organisation to meet deadlines, commitments, and creatively support the “boss on the other end of the phone”as it was in this dream. In other words, there was an unseen dictator setting me impossible tasks. I didn’t have much interaction with him, but I could feel him in the background. The buses that I would normally take to start this work were stopping on the wrong side of the road to pick up and put down passengers, meaning I missed them and was late from the outset. My normal level of accurate organisation (being at the right bus stop at the right time) went out the window. There was a female underling in the dream that I was showing off my skills to. I was given the resource of a large, old, clunky manual typewriter. In the dream, I was aware that I had previously moved on to keyboarding on a computer, and thus overcoming some of the tasks, such as faultlessly typing out the manuscript without making an error became a struggle and an effort. I tried to show my best and put in my best which I know I am certainly capable of, but I felt that the recruiting test wasn’t really fair as it felt as if fails were set up in it all the way. Inevitably, when I did make one mis-stroke and had an error which was already a giant failure on this important document, I then had to revisit using a bottle of liquid paper to cover over the mistake, which sprayed everywhere when I opened the lid. After getting some to cover up the mistake, I had to let it dry, before the typewriter arm came down heavily with the correct letter on that spot. For those of you who can’t remember those days, I also had to correct the carbon copy, which lay lined up inside the typewriter with a slip of black carbon paper between. I was put in a desk inside a cupboard, very hard to move around, and I had moving targets as to deadlines, with everything becoming more pressured. The female was also on the phone to the boss, so I knew I was being strictly monitored. I also had to factor in transport times, as I had to carry this all important document to its destination, which involved a number of terminus changes on a complicated bus route.
At one point, I just woke up out of the dream, and thought “this is impossible. You are being set up to fail. You can stop this dream right away. You don’t need to suffer through this dream any longer.”
Then off I went and had some lovely long hours of sleep before waking up and going over the dream again. And of course, with hindsight, you can always see what you couldn’t when you were right up close in it.
The dreams of the manual typewriter and the chocolate typewriter were trying to show me that I have moved out of the old paradigm, and no matter what efforts I make, or how skilled I was when I was in it, I will never again be able to get that old paradigm to work. It is forever gone from my psyche, and what’s more, I don’t need to make it work – it’s totally a fail in the place where I am evolving to.
I am simply out of that manipulated place where I breathed, moved and acted for the sake of others, for the hidden agenda of someone “other”.
I totally realise that, although I still rub shoulders and need to live in the near vicinity of those that are still beholden to this broken paradigm, and experience cognitive dissonance of that every day, I have burst out, in my own way. I just await the glaze which will only bring a sparkle of perfection to what is already created.
I can be what I am without being treated like a servant. I can accept that how I thought things worked is not how they work now.
I no longer need to worry about typewriters, manual or otherwise.
Before heading out of bed, I gave myself a clap, and a smile, because I know those higher versions of me are looking down and having a laugh at the lengths they needed to go for me to “get” this picture.