The boy and I. (1 Viewer)

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Questionable soul

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Nov 23, 2018
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I struggle with my past, childhood being the root.. on this road to self forgiveness I have managed to read some.(my retention levels are still screwed up, but energies back), it was the 60's and my mother had stuff to do . I tell myself anyway.. point being, I was raised by my grandparents, its complicated too. Abuse, that could of netted jail even those days and the dress him up, token child trophy..are sort of the earthly poles of my existence back then. Gifted, is an understatement.. queasy typing that is too. Private school education, extremely high Mark's and scores.. enough so, the administration called my folks in.. said they couldn't provide what I really deserved in curriculum and suggested some alternatives. Granny and Pop, blew a gasket.. he needs to be normal... was about all I remember clearly from that day.. hence the dumbing down of Eric began..effectively too.. so you know, angst over, coulda, woulda, shoulda.. Why.. etc.. I am dealing with it and have my whole life.. my son, is 12. From birth(which was tough) he had something.. not knowing what I know now, i still knew he had what i do, he also is starseed. As a baby, he would crawl to the door relentlessly on the days I would come home from the road. By the time he could talk, he told his mom and brother, dads coming home.. after 3 times, they started to listen.. driving like I do, I never knew for sure my home time, so I never called to say.. I'll be there x..because my particular notch at the time was crucial and dictated by National affairs. He is gifted as well, advanced courses, #3 in the state score wise, etc..and he and I have talked about things we know, without knowing how or why.. we can be together and get a feeling about a person or a situation and instantly look at each other and without words, know and react in concert.. he is extremely mature compared to myself at the same age.. what the heck do you do with him and this situation? While being newly awakened yourself, do you take this journey together? My first instinct... do you wait? Do set him up to run the course from himself.. it's a quandary for sure.. tyia.. Eric.
 

Linda

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I can speak from my childhood, as well as having an extraordinary daughter (now grown). Although my home life could be difficult, the main thing my parents gave me was acceptance of my abilities. I was in my late teens before I understood that everyone was not like me in terms of knowing things. Nothing much was ever said, but I was not dismissed, either. When I was a bit older, I got interested in books my parents had, such as Edgar Cayce. Again nothing much was said, I was just allowed to read them. The most fun my brother and I had was with our grandparents where we had all kinds of adventures - building things in the workshop, gardening, looking at the stars at night. One time our grandfather even made a little zip line ride for us. We always were doing something interesting - expanding our little minds.

My daughter had a fairly normal childhood. I learned early on that we shared thoughts and feelings best when doing something like cooking dinner or some other activity. I made sure she tried different activities, and when she particularly liked one, I moved heaven and earth to make it possible. Like you and your son, we seem to receive similar info about people and circumstances and have almost always been in sync with each other (not the early teens, but then who can be - lol).

One thing I do, which is the family joke (Linda's educational moments) is share something interesting that happened or that I observed and how I felt about it. One day, my daughter and I were laughing about it, and then she said something so touching - that it was good I shared my moments with them because for just a little bit, they can see the world through my eyes.

You and your son already are on this trip together. There is no accident to his birth into your family. I've found that by just being together, especially outdoors, opportunities arise for conversation. Some movies are good for this, too. If your son is old enough, "Arrival" could lead to some interesting conversations.

Just be yourself and allow him space to do the same. It is the most extraordinary gift that lasts forever.
 

Laron

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I struggle with my past, childhood being the root..
I don't know if you are aware of these books, but one of them may help you and him.

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, by Debbie Ford
Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, by Robert A. Johnson

This area should really be understood an part of our education at some point at an early age. This may also help him understand you more too.
 

Lila

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While being newly awakened yourself, do you take this journey together?
Sounds like you already are:eek::D... and it sounds like you're doing so much for him that you never got, which to me sound like evolution (at a rather rapid pace too).

All you can do is your best. All he can do is his best. Somehow we muddle through together. Hopefully we have a lot of fun doing so:-D

Perhaps the best gift we can give our children, I believe, is to forgive ourselves and be kind to ourselves. What better example can we give than that? This has taken me a long time to get to and it feels great so I'm going with it. Whee hoo!
 

Snowmelt

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If you share too much too soon, you can shut your children down. Like anyone, they want to learn things for themselves. So it's best to just drop tokens into the general mix of normality. Just here and there, like flavour bolts. I have had an extremely hairy, up-and-down roller coaster ride with my child who has now reached the adult age of 18. But 18 doesn't make you an adult, so we still experience temper tantrums, and frustration when things don't turn out according to her ego-mind. This is part of maturing, and for her age she is very mature I would say, and other days, behaves like an insufferable brat. Generally, I am very satisfied with her total loveliness, which at this stage is potential only. And knowing what her potential is, I just go on the roller coaster ride each day and each night, because, hey, I started it.

One day, if I'm still alive, I am going to be so proud of her reaching her potential. And if I'm not alive on that day, I'm going to be looking down into the dimension and still be extremely proud. Take that as read.
 

Lila

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If you share too much too soon, you can shut your children down. Like anyone, they want to learn things for themselves. So it's best to just drop tokens into the general mix of normality. Just here and there, like flavour bolts.
Love this! And I concur.
I'd add; 'don't forget to forgive yourself for the times it appears that you didn't get things just right.' I emphasize 'appears' because I've really found that what appears to be going 'wrong' doesn't always look that way a while later (sometimes years later).
My experience strongly nudges me to give myself the break of self forgiveness right away so that we can each enjoy each other in the moment now:-D
Hindsight is so much easier, lol! Wish I'd realized this one much sooner. Glad I've realized it now and sometimes throughout the process, too.

for her age she is very mature I would say, and other days, behaves like an insufferable brat. Generally, I am very satisfied with her total loveliness, which at this stage is potential only. And knowing what her potential is, I just go on the roller coaster ride each day and each night, because, hey, I started it.

One day, if I'm still alive, I am going to be so proud of her reaching her potential. And if I'm not alive on that day, I'm going to be looking down into the dimension and still be extremely proud. Take that as read.
I am nodding my head vigorously as I read this.
Yes, got one of those here too. Great kid who knows precisely how to be 'that kid:)|' some days and 'that kid<3' others; so immature and so mature within the same body. It's a wonder my head doesn't snap off at times from trying to keep up with the whiplash of it all:eek::))!
 
OP
Questionable soul

Questionable soul

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Nov 23, 2018
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Everyone's kid is special.. just ask them. Clayton, however is beyond remarkable. I was given a choice at birth. One or the other, but not both would come out of that O.R. I told the doctor, all or nothing.<< yes I did. He gasped and stammered, as you might imagine. Uttered a few things.. I guess my mojo was working then, although I wasn't aware at the time. I told him, I had faith in him and we were all coming home.. there was a surreal aura in the room, I touched him. It was rather shocking, his eyes, were like nobody I ever confronted at that moment. He was ROCKED. it wasn't pretty in there, I wound helping the surgeon stitch her back together, there were no other hands available. I called on every measure of faith and hope that I could and had.. I made a deal with the Great Creator, "if you let this be" I will ask no more, ever, for myself. The creator did and I have not. Clayton, is wise and grounded well past his years.. a millennia or two.. OLDEST of souls and a Seed as well. His mother didn't fair the best, hypoxia left a mark with the complications. She is thriving and as normal as can be expected. He, has become her guardian (protector, parent). He accelerates at all you can lay at his feet.. its difficult to be a good dad, when you long for a friend like him. The doctor and staff that day have all gone on to fairly illustrious careers. They still speak of that day, with deep convictions and a Hallowed honor. Doc's retired now but, still claims he was never before, the kind of physician he was that day and every day since.. then mutters my name in a blaming tone and a smile..its the softest version of this event I can muster, without going all to pieces.. tear in my eye says stop Eric..
 

Lila

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That's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read, Questionable soul.
So many people touched and transformed by that one person's conviction and love. Yep, that's you<3
I hope you write about it some day, if you haven't already. That is a story just begging to be shared!
 
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