- Nov 23, 2018
I struggle with my past, childhood being the root.. on this road to self forgiveness I have managed to read some.(my retention levels are still screwed up, but energies back), it was the 60's and my mother had stuff to do . I tell myself anyway.. point being, I was raised by my grandparents, its complicated too. Abuse, that could of netted jail even those days and the dress him up, token child trophy..are sort of the earthly poles of my existence back then. Gifted, is an understatement.. queasy typing that is too. Private school education, extremely high Mark's and scores.. enough so, the administration called my folks in.. said they couldn't provide what I really deserved in curriculum and suggested some alternatives. Granny and Pop, blew a gasket.. he needs to be normal... was about all I remember clearly from that day.. hence the dumbing down of Eric began..effectively too.. so you know, angst over, coulda, woulda, shoulda.. Why.. etc.. I am dealing with it and have my whole life.. my son, is 12. From birth(which was tough) he had something.. not knowing what I know now, i still knew he had what i do, he also is starseed. As a baby, he would crawl to the door relentlessly on the days I would come home from the road. By the time he could talk, he told his mom and brother, dads coming home.. after 3 times, they started to listen.. driving like I do, I never knew for sure my home time, so I never called to say.. I'll be there x..because my particular notch at the time was crucial and dictated by National affairs. He is gifted as well, advanced courses, #3 in the state score wise, etc..and he and I have talked about things we know, without knowing how or why.. we can be together and get a feeling about a person or a situation and instantly look at each other and without words, know and react in concert.. he is extremely mature compared to myself at the same age.. what the heck do you do with him and this situation? While being newly awakened yourself, do you take this journey together? My first instinct... do you wait? Do set him up to run the course from himself.. it's a quandary for sure.. tyia.. Eric.