Let's Explore our Fears! (1 Viewer)

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Samara

Involved Wayfarer
Jul 30, 2016
205
633
Passau, Germany
Yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes we just know our destiny, even if the details can change we will have an inkling or perhaps more of an inkling around a specific aspect.
It kinda scares me but then again it feels right... and I feel I need to still LEARN some things before I'm capable of stepping into that role... lol
I once spoke to some friends about this feeling (spiritual friends) and one of them who gets answers from the spiritual world said its only wishful thinking .. but it doesnt feel like that... it feels more like, not sure if I really want to do this but it lies on my path and I'll be able to step into it and it would feel wrong not to
Sometimes I feel MY truth is somehow different than hers... and not sure if all she recieves is really accurate, often enough there was nothing to prove it

I also don't know if it sounds somehow arrogant when I speak of this... I never felt like I want to take over leadership or tell people what to do or something... feels more like its gonna naturally just happen...

I may be wrong on all this too I really don't know, its just a feeling I'm having... and I can't push it away no matter if somebody says its just wishful thinking or whatever
Also timelines is a strange thing lol :)



That pic of yours Laron I can totally relate to ... everybody I resonate with seems to live really really far away...


It depends on what level and form you are existing as. For example, the over-soul, while androgynous from our perspective, will still have a personality of a sorts in the sense of being more feminine or masculine, just like some of us here are, but then when moving beyond that outside of the realms that govern the earth school and the in-between where those souls exist between lives, we move higher up on the vibrational scale, where sex isn't relevant. Being in love and having that requirement of not being alone is also a concept limited to the systems we reside in, and again are not relevant when moving beyond such spaces.

This is what I feel, too... We live in many dimensions and in the lower dimensions we do have male or female energies, though like in the 5th or 7th dimension it doesnt have to be the same as in our 3rd dimension
We may even have both genders in 3rd dimension, we may be incarnated in 2 or more bodies at the same time with different parts of our soul... I believe all this incarnation and dimension system is very complex and hard or impossible to understand from our 3D or even 5D perspective...
However our higher dimensional selves I feel that gender doesnt matter as we have both energies integrated in our selves and are more "complete" there and more just "being" and unconditional love

And as for
Being in love and having that requirement of not being alone is also a concept limited to the systems we reside in, and again are not relevant when moving beyond such spaces.
I fully agree with that... Even now while my vibration is rising, I already don't feel the requirement of being with somebody anymore. I'm always amused at the reaction of people, especially guys, when I tell them that... especially guys don't seem able to believe a woman could be happy without a guy.
I'm open to a relationship if the right one for me pops up but I don't think I can ever live in this tight and codependent kind of relationship anymore. Also I'm not sure if this kind of "being in love" ever will feel the same to me again
 
OP
Brian

Brian

Involved Wayfarer
Jul 28, 2016
330
936
California
I had a very fearful childhood in quite a number of ways, so facing and overcoming many fears has been an ongoing struggle for me...but one that has been rewarding nonetheless.

When I was quite young, my parents didn't get along and they had a very volatile, "on again/off again" relationship. One day they'd be screaming at each other all night across the kitchen table--and the next they'd be overly affectionate and trying to make up. I was a pretty sensitive soul and spent many a night crying myself to sleep while they shouted at each other and argued. As I look back on things now, it's abundantly clear how messed up they and their relationship were. I've since learned that when you grow up in an unstable environment like that, you have a very hard time trusting people and are in almost continual fear of the next "blow-up"--because you never know when it's coming, you just know it's coming and that some little thing (anything) will spark it. Even though I didn't have anything to compare my family to at the time, I somehow intuitively knew that wasn't the way things should be--and I knew I'd never let myself act that way with my own future family. Fortunately, I never have.

When I got a little older, around 6 or so, I had another really difficult experience when my mom left. At the time, she was a Girl Scout Leader and went off to a camp for the entire summer. I wasn't old enough to really understand that concept of time however, and to me it seemed as if she had gone forever. It actually felt to me like she had died. I remember having nightmares for weeks after, where she would leave me over and over again. I spent that summer feeling as if it was my fault and wondering what I had done wrong to make her go away. I eventually found out, many years later, that a big part of her leaving was the relationship with my dad. She felt she needed to "escape" for awhile in order to get herself together. I didn't know that early on however, so for many years I felt I was somehow responsible for her departure. I now understand that both my parents were doing the best they could under difficult circumstances--and that they were only repeating the patterns they had learned from their parents. I'm very grateful that, in my later teenage years, I had a number of friends who had more normal families. I was able to see how they were able to live in relative respect and harmony with one another. Because of their positive influence, I was able to establish a vision for my own family one day. I'll never forget them and will always greatly appreciate their example.

Finally, I was a victim of bullying as well. We moved from the city to the suburbs when I was 8. Being the small, new kid who was young for his grade and a little "husky" (overweight) at the time, I was constantly picked on. I'd have my books knocked out of my hands, my lunch taken, or receive an occasional black eye or fat lip from being someone's punching bag. I hated going to school then. If it wasn't my hair (which my mom cut herself to save money) or my clothes (she made me wear "Brady Bunch" style clothes even though everyone else wore blue jeans, tennis shoes, and t-shirts), it was my voice, my laugh, or my glasses. I think the toughest part though, especially as I got older, was being teased or victimized in front of the girls. For many years, as much as I wanted to have a girlfriend, my low self-esteem always seemed to stand solidly in my way.

I don't think it helped either, that my dad was a strict disciplinarian. He'd give me difficult work to do around the house and go off to work himself. In those days, he worked very late hours. Sometimes, when he'd come home late at night (10 or 11:00 even), he'd check the work I had done weeding, or digging, or raking the lawn. If I didn't do a good enough job, he'd wake me up, get me out of bed, and make me finish the job to his satisfaction--even if I had to use a flashlight to do it (and I often did). And I very rarely did a good enough job. Other times, if I misbehaved, or "talked back", I'd get what he called a "size 12" (basically a boot in the a$$). It was either that or a 2x4 across the backside. While he would spank me at times, I'm grateful that he never "beat" me like my uncle did to my cousins. My uncle had a 3" wide leather belt that he had folded in half and taped as a type of handle. I had spent an afternoon at their house one day, saw him beat one of my cousins for some mild "infraction" (for they were really good kids), and I left--at 10 years old, I ran the entire 5 miles home from their house.

In retrospect, I'm amazed at the many abuses kids had to endure...and it saddens and amazes me even more that far worse things still go on today.

I think the main thing that changed for me was one day when my mom got really angry. She tried to spank me for something really stupid. Whatever it was I had done, she was in the wrong and this time, I knew it. I was probably about 13 years old by then, I had finally started growing, and I'd had enough. When she grabbed me and hit me across my backside with a hardback book, I blew up. She hit me so hard, she broke the binding of the book! I spun around, snatched the book from her hands, and threw it hard across the kitchen. I pointed my finger directly at her and growled (and yes, I think I literally growled) "Don't you ever touch me again!" When I saw the fearful look in her eyes, I suddenly knew I would never be bullied, beat up, or punished again. By anyone!

In fact, I was shocked to find that even my dad had a newfound respect for me. When he came home that evening, I fully expected to have my butt whipped. As it turns out, he and I had a "man-to-man" talk in his workshop, and he never touched me again either. My newfound confidence even translated into school as well. I had finally found my own inner strength and I wasn't afraid to use it. I recall that a few weeks later, a group of about eight football players were prowling the halls looking for a hapless victim. As usual, they "homed in" on and circled around me. The first one to touch me however, got a fist in his eye as his reward. I don't recall much about the next few minutes except that I was a blur of fists, feet, and elbows. I almost feel like I kind of "blacked out" a bit as I fought them off of me! At one point they all scattered and I remember one of them saying something to the effect of, "Let's go find somebody else. This guy's going to be too hard to take."

I didn't realize the full impact of what I had done until I was in our school auditorium for our school pep rally, some 15 or 20 minutes later. As we sat on the bleachers, there in front of our entire school, the football players came out as a group carrying another student. He was trussed up in some kind of bindings (probably duct tape). They chanted and cheered, then left him in the middle of the basketball court for the cheerleaders to untie. At that moment, I looked at my friends in amazement...because I realized that had almost been me. The poor guy left in the middle of that basketball court would have been me--if I hadn't stood up for myself and fought those bullies off.

From that day on, win or lose, I knew I would never again allow myself to become a victim. I also made a promise that I would do whatever I could to stand up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves. And I've been grateful for these challenging experiences ever since!

:cool:
Thankyou! I guess a common theme in spiritual people are hard childhoods or at least that seems to be the pattern. At least at the end of the day, we choose who we get to be, thus enabling us to break the cycle of violence for future generations. I am a firm believer of that we are only given what we could handle as us as a soul chose to experience such events. Thus, we've overcomed them and have grown from them; therefore, helping shape the individual who we are today.

I found that by not responding, it made things worse. My only escape back then was to not be at school.
Hmmm. You're right. As times have changed. Back in the day violence was more prominent. Bullying was harsher. Also bullies and our lives are a case by case scenario, what might work for another won't work for everyone. For me at least, I tried to befriend them of course with some it worked; whereas, others it didn't as it's unique to every bully. But overall, every bully is usually troubled by something in their home or past. I remember two times in my life where I resorted to violence both when I was young and both with bullies at least at the moment. It worked, but it left a sour taste in my mouth. Some who were bullies back then are no longer now as if they are able to solve their problem(s), then they'll change or at least have the chance to become someone good aka someone that no longer bullies. The method of pacifying for me didn't make much sense as its reprocautions for me brought more suffering as I allowed them to bully me; however, it worked because I didn't show signs of anger or grief, those things which fuels bullies or whatever they may be and then I would try to talk to them and appeal to them on a human level. Elementary was when all those things happened. Times have changed for me, since then as now I haven't been bullied in such a long time.

It depends on what level and form you are existing as. For example, the over-soul, while androgynous from our perspective, will still have a personality of a sorts in the sense of being more feminine or masculine, just like some of us here are, but then when moving beyond that outside of the realms that govern the earth school and the in-between where those souls exist between lives, we move higher up on the vibrational scale, where sex isn't relevant. Being in love and having that requirement of not being alone is also a concept limited to the systems we reside in, and again are not relevant when moving beyond such spaces.
I didn't think about that. There are so many different aspects of who we are. All I know is that love is a separate thing from lust or carnal desires. It is a greater thing among emotions or just as something that is a part of our world, yet also outside of it. As many people belittle love, not on this forum, but just many in the world. Identity. Masculine and feminine. Hmmm. I wonder where the dropoff point where balance is achieved. I remember in a QHHT session you did that the grid conciousness was close to the source, but knew not to get too close because of being absorbed(?) Thus, to keep their function as it is, it wouldn't be ideal to go there at the time. I feel like we'll all eventually go back together and then start again. The big bang, then a recall. I don't think anyone knows when such a thing would occur... I'm still not sure who I am. As I don't identify with a starseed, nor feel like I'm earthbound. There are so many possibilities anyways and it's not too important to know at least maybe I'll find out later. I know that we're all here as humans trying to make the world a better place and that's good enough for me. <3s
 

Stargazer

Collected Consciousness
Retired Moderator
Jul 28, 2016
2,815
8,420
USA
rememberinginfinity.wordpress.com
I'm still not sure who I am. As I don't identify with a starseed, nor feel like I'm earthbound. There are so many possibilities anyways and it's not too important to know at least maybe I'll find out later. I know that we're all here as humans trying to make the world a better place and that's good enough for me. <3s
Starseed, earthbound, or any other labels we may give ourselves aren't all that important at the end of the day. Sometimes I think we feel pressured to "pigeonhole" ourselves into one definition or another. You are a unique and wonderful aspect of All That Is, just as we all are. That, in itself (as you said), is perfectly enough!

:)
 

Laron

QHHT & Past Life Regression
Staff member
Administrator
Creator of transients.info & The Roundtable
Jul 19, 2016
7,455
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Nelson, New Zealand
laron.nz
As I don't identify with a starseed, nor feel like I'm earthbound.
I think that it is a common thing that people think that the Universe, and the in-between where we go when we are not in the Universe ,is all there is, but this is just a tiny small aspect of existence.

Oh, I am getting a dejavu.

So I was going to say that once we move out of the Universe area / plane / space, we are in a completely different plane of existence. There are places that are formed based on group consciousness and the thought forms and beliefs that come, such as through religions, and these are planes of their own which reside externally to the Universe and are just as real as here in their own way, based on the laws and physics that have been created there.

There are so many places that a soul can decide to go to have experience, and the Universe is just one of many. So we have Earth here, we have ET races existing multidimeinsionally, and other life out there in the Universe, but it's important to understand that some of us don't come directly from the 'Universe' and may be here for the first time in this plane, with the help of imprint lives.

And that is how I feel. I have been told conflicting things from sensitives, as in more than just a few people saying they feel that they have had a past life with me, but I don't feel that is accurate. The information that has come from direct experience helps to show me what is going on, and I have some knowings to explain why people may think they have had a past life with me, because another aspect of my higher self has very likely had a series of many lives on Earth, but that is separate to this aspect I am focused on now.

With those Lai sessions I wanted to know what was beyond 'source'. I did ask the question but I received no useful answer, so I don't think I included that in the session I transcribed at the time. The logical reasoning is that source is all there is, but I was thinking outside of the box and wondering if there is anything more.

Just imagine merging back with a source of energy that is limitless, and existing in a space where nothing much is going on except what is perceived by energy all in the one spot. I can see why Robert Monroe's higher self experience showed him that his essence got bored there, so went out on a journey to somewhere else, if I remember right (This was in his book 'Ultimate Journey').

Our ultimate goal is to graduate these places we end up in, and return to that source, and the journey is what is important, as when we finally get back there, we may not want to stay for long anyway and we may want to ... forget certain things to have a new experience, otherwise we would 'know it all' and there wouldn't be any fun in that! :)s

Sometimes I think we feel pressured to "pigeonhole" ourselves into one definition or another
In this case I think it was necessary for Brian to use such terminology to explain what he was trying to convey.
 

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