Five important factors in raising self-disciplined & happy children? (1 Viewer)

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Golmona

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As a (new) mum all of these five points resonate with me very much. How about the mums and dads in this community. Do these points resonate and/or do you have other factors you would like to add to this list?

The article goes to explain that in order to raise children who become self-disciplined and happy adults five things are important:

1- Children need a secure attachment with at least one loving adult
2- Children learn self-discipline from limits with empathy
3- The skill of self-soothing is essential for children to learn to manage their anxiety, emotions and behaviour. Children learn to self-soothe by being soothed by parents.
4- Children can only manage their behaviour when they can manage their emotions, and they learn to manage their emotions by having parents who accept their emotions.
5- Children learn what they live.

Read more here: http://www.ahaparenting.com/blog/how_to_raise_great_kids?utm_source=Aha!+Parenting+List&utm_campaign=90f2687945-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2016_11_15&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_45e38f2e1a-90f2687945-209547973
 
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Stargazer

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Great article, Golmona!

The part about self-soothing is very important, I think. If we can teach children at a young age that they can find the things they need within themselves (things like love, confidence, and a positive outlook), they'll be better able to base their relationships on true compatibility--rather than seeking the things they need through others. Too many people look for relationships feeling that they'll somehow get what they're lacking from someone else...but the truth is, in order to have a stable relationship, they really need to find those things within first.

I'd also like to add that, in order to recognize and appreciate their own self-worth, kids need to know they are supported, encouraged, and loved.
 

Linda

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Those are some good ideas, and I can share some thoughts from the other end of the parenting line.

As children get older, we have opportunities to demonstrate how we soothe ourselves - sitting alone outside, reading a book, working on an art project or in the garage on a repair project. I recall my Mother telling me how to figure out when I should ask my Father for something. She said look at how he walks up the sidewalk when he gets home. If he walking fast with his head down, then he might have had a tough day at work or got caught in traffic coming home. Leave him alone for a little bit until he unwinds and then ask your question. She was showing me that he needed time to self-soothe.

The idea of allowing and respecting feelings and ideas has so much bearing on later life. The freedom to express feelings carries over into the freedom to admit mistakes. It is astounding how quickly situations resolve when you can say "I messed up', rather than going through all the machinations about how it was not your fault. The ability to do this is learned at an early age from loving parents.
 

Hailstones Melt

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I allowed my daughter to have a dummy (pacifier to some) until the age of three and then we went cold turkey. She was ready to let it go and never asked for it again. But get this: when we were on a travel trip to Italy, I bought one of the Italian style. It was the biggest, gob-smacking thing I have ever seen, taking up about one-third of her face. This was the most pleasurable dummy she ever owned, and kept us late from departing from one hotel where the room had to be dismantled to find the thing.

51l7dQ6p75L__SL1000_Italian dummy pacifier.jpg
 
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