IMHO, you most certainly have not failed. There is no "pass" or "fail" in life (as controlling religions always tell us). There is only learning and experience. I would guess that you have certainly LEARNED a great deal from your dad, as I did. The important thing is what you DO with that learning. Do you simply shrug your shoulders and say something like, "it is what it is, just accept me as I am" (as my mom always used to do)? Or do you use that knowledge to help CHANGE YOURSELF into a better person than you might otherwise have been?
I had similar experiences with my dad. I went from a trusting, loving little boy, rushing to meet him when he came home from work to a frightened teenager, "walking on eggshells" and always waiting for an explosive reaction whenever I did any little thing incorrectly or wrong. As spiritually "wise" as he was about life, death, and the after-life (and for his sharing of which I'll always be grateful), he never seemed to be able to master his own emotions or improve his own life or family situations. I managed to see the difference between my own dysfunctional family and others--and somehow managed to create something far, FAR better for my own family.
As difficult as it was at the time, some 40 years later (and after raising a son of my own), I now realize he was simply doing the best he could. I also look at his upbringing and experiences and wonder how well (or not) I might have done if I had faced similar circumstances. I guess that's the old, "walk a mile in someone else's moccasins before judging them" idea. Even if one can't find forgiveness, sometimes it's enough to find gratitude. For without the experiences we've had, we wouldn't be the people we are today.
Where YOUR future is concerned, always remember that YOU are the master of your own journey. We've always been told (or at least I often was) that genetics and our upbringing determine our future and they're inescapable. I now call "BULLSHIT!" Even with those limitations have their limitations. WE ALWAYS HAVE CHOICE.
The fact that you're here and even considering other ideas shows me that you've learned--and are learning from these experiences. And to me, that's more than half the battle!
Keep at it, my friend. You're doing just fine!