Breaking Generational Trauma Cycles (1 Viewer)

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Laron

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"My parents beat me as a child and I am not traumatized," said the man whose ex-partner reported him for physical violence.

"When I was a child they left me crying alone until I fell asleep and it was so bad I did not go out," said the man who spends long hours in social networks, affecting his sleep.

"They punished me as a child and I'm fine," said the man who, every time he makes a mistake, says to himself words of contempt, as a form of self-punishment.

"As a child, they put a heavy hand on me and I suffer from a trauma called 'education'," said the woman who still does not understand why all of her partners end up being aggressive.

"When I became capricious as a child, my father locked me in a room alone to learn and today I appreciate it," said the woman who has suffered anxiety attacks and cannot explain why she is so afraid of being locked in small spaces.

"My parents told me they were going to leave me alone or give me to a stranger when I did my tantrums and I do not have traumas," said the woman who has prayed for love and has forgiven repeated infidelities so as not to feel abandoned

"My parents controlled me with just the look and see how well I came out," said the woman who cannot maintain eye contact with figures of 'authority' without feeling intimidated.

"As a child, I got even with the iron cable and today I am a good man, even professional," said the man his neighbors have accused the police for drunk hitting objects and yelling at his wife.

"My parents forced me to study a career that would make me money, and see how well off I am," said the man who dreams of Friday every day because he is desperate in his work doing something every day that is not what he always wanted.

"When I was little they forced me to sit down until all the food was finished and they even force fed me, not like those permissive parents" affirmed the woman who does not understand why she could not have a healthy relationship with food and in her adolescence came to develop an eating disorder.

"My mother taught me to respect her good chancletazos to the point," said the woman who smokes 5 cigarettes a day to control her anxiety.

"I thank my mom and my dad for every blow and every punishment, because, if not, who knows what would happen to me," said the man who has never been able to have a healthy relationship, and whose son constantly lies to him because he has fear.

And so we go through life, listening to people claiming to be good people without trauma, but paradoxically, in a society full of violence and wounded people.

It's time to break generational trauma cycles.

~ David Bradbury

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GregH3000

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What's interesting to me on this topic is how siblings respond differently to similar types of parental trauma. The first born in my family, John, received a lot of abuse from my dad (e.g. volatile temper with "the look" and loud recriminations, getting the strap in the basement, being forced to have his hair cut at a barber shop in the 60s, etc.), but was highly ambitious, did well in college, and ended up exceeding my dad as an engineer (VP of Valero). However, fifteen years ago, he died of a heart attack in his 50s (I always thought it was a highly suspicious death; died in his home alone while his shrewish wife, a divorcee with one son, was out), which perhaps was compensation.

Myself, OTOH, couldn't get past the trauma, and as a consequence, have isolated way too much, got in trouble with the law in my teen years, never married (fear of women), risk averse, negative self talk, assorted addictive behaviors, and compelled to work shitty, unfulfilling jobs, many of which I was fired from. How did my brother get past my dad's crap while I couldn't? BTW, I was the only other sibling besides John to get a college degree, so I've always felt a deeper soul connection with him; it was grievous to lose him so soon.

Now I'm retired on a disability, and live like a mushroom with my older brother (affected similarly by my dad's behaviors) because I doubt I could make it on my own. Basically I'm struggling with a fear-centered life instead of a loving one; lots of buried anger and petty resentments still haunt me.

If any of you are in a similar situation, Gary Zakav's book, The Seat of the Soul, might be a profound read for you. His thesis is that humanity has to move towards a life concerned with fulfilling the soul's spiritual calling instead of external power signifiers tied to the material world and the five senses, much in the same way that physics had to radically transform from Newtonian classical mechanics in the 20th century (Zakav's earlier book, The Dancing Wu Li Masters, was a well-received attempt to introduce and explain quantum mechanics to the layman).

I know what this book is saying is spot on, but I guess it's too late for me; I just can't seem to get on the loving side. I guess I will have to deal with this shit in my next life, unfortunately.
 

azlynn

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I know what this book is saying is spot on, but I guess it's too late for me; I just can't seem to get on the loving side. I guess I will have to deal with this shit in my next life, unfortunately.
Who's to say why you experienced this life in this way? Perhaps it's due to Karma from a previous life and look at the knowledge you've gained. You are probably way ahead of a lot of people. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Peace, Brother
 

Linda

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GregH3000 some of what you write rings true for me, as well. The families we make have been the important and supporting influences in my life. The ability to recognize what has gone on before puts you way ahead of the curve, as azlynn says. What is to come is unknown for us all, so we get up each day and do our best - maybe something simple like planting some herbs in pots - a little piece of love.
 
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Snowmelt

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I attended weekly co-dependency meetings for about a year, in my early 30's, and that was after attending many Rajneesh sessions like Primal Therapy, and having therapeutic massage for years (foot massage). But I knew my life was still being directed by unresolved co-dependency that I learned as a child. And I went on to prove that by marrying one, if not two, narcissists. Sometimes things are put in our way to live through, work through, grow through.

But then the problems increase in complexity when they grow out of the personal realm, into the tribal or national realm (Palestine/Israel?) That is repeated generational trauma, each generation.

Attending to the wounded inner child is the way, and many people on here have had success with that. In this I feel meek and am willing to learn.
 

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