Recently woke up to a 'psychic vision' type thing except it was present in my physical room still sorta. Like I was seeing into the next dimension or plane or whatever there is, where our spirit guides reside. I was laying on my back as I woke up, and I looked down, groggily, and saw that my feet were severed off at the ankles(from my spiritual body, I assume) with red painful energy emitting from them. They looked like they been ripped off, not cleanly severed, actually, as it was rather sharp in one angle at one of the ankles I looked at. Sorry for the graphicness, even if this is was I guess about my spiritual body. Then I noticed what I assume (I just have fears of not being safe or protected all the time, I know it must be my guide I just say this with total disconfidence, sometimes) and she was a cat lady kneeled down at the edge of my bed and she seemed to be tinkering with some sort of healing tools with the bottoms of my feet (one of them actually, the left) and I could feel it was healing energy but it was so slight and in a very small specific spot I almost began to wonder what she was doing there at all if it wasn't going to fix anything at a larger degree. It was all just kind of silly to me in a way. She had a lighthearted energy, and it felt green, like heart chakra, love energy radiating from her, or maybe that's just my memory twisting it, or maybe it's just my memory tapping more into the experience from the past.
Strange thing was, in the past I had written poetry stream of consciousness style (which now what I assume was channeling) and I kept referring to the fact that I had broken feet. Wading in shallow waters with broken feet, looking to go deeper into the water, because there was an upturned boat with an anchor at the bottom and a pile of treasure buried down there underwhere and something about the anchor being trauma and that I cant lift it to get the treasure. Like it was sitting in the pile of treasure and I couldn't get the treasure unless I lifted the anchor through it all. I wish I had the poem, but I through it out with the rest of the journal I kept it in. That was during a time when I was desperately clinging to traditional therapy to fix me. I shifted in and out of spirituality as a sort of crutch, moving to what felt good vs what felt bad in my life, as simplistically put. They taught things in traditional therapy, but it feels very limited. I get more benefit from spiritual healing ( such as for the chakras) videos on youtube than I ever did in trying 7 years of therapy and medications. One healing I payed for had even put me back fully into the present moment and it was amazing, the world felt real and didn't feel like a dream. It's been seven years since I've been in the present moment. Don't know when I'll be back, but my spirit guides and the universe reassure me it'll be soon... patience seems to be a big lesson, I just feel deadened in my heart chakra sometimes, can't feel my emotions at all and the world is grey and dreary, bleak, like I am cut off from love, the feeling of it in general. I feel this grief, and I know where it comes from, it's just so big, and I don;'t know how to find closure from it. I try affirmations and root chakra healings all the time and I go into nature as well with my bare feet, but sometimes I'm just sitting there and i'm trying so hard to be present but I still drift off into the higher up realms, no idea where my minds gone, it's just not there. I feel like i'm meditating with a blank state of mind but im not present and i'm too afraid to tune into what is up in the higher realms because of the fear injuries to do with my root chakra.
So, anyway, I had to get this out today. If you decided to read all of this, thank you for being a listener, it means a lot to my heart. I recently found out my best friend from childhood has been into spirituality all a long, but out of respect of her own emotional boundaries, she was not able to talk about this with me today. So, I posted here. Maybe it will be an interesting read for some of you. It was an emotional release to me.
Strange thing was, in the past I had written poetry stream of consciousness style (which now what I assume was channeling) and I kept referring to the fact that I had broken feet. Wading in shallow waters with broken feet, looking to go deeper into the water, because there was an upturned boat with an anchor at the bottom and a pile of treasure buried down there underwhere and something about the anchor being trauma and that I cant lift it to get the treasure. Like it was sitting in the pile of treasure and I couldn't get the treasure unless I lifted the anchor through it all. I wish I had the poem, but I through it out with the rest of the journal I kept it in. That was during a time when I was desperately clinging to traditional therapy to fix me. I shifted in and out of spirituality as a sort of crutch, moving to what felt good vs what felt bad in my life, as simplistically put. They taught things in traditional therapy, but it feels very limited. I get more benefit from spiritual healing ( such as for the chakras) videos on youtube than I ever did in trying 7 years of therapy and medications. One healing I payed for had even put me back fully into the present moment and it was amazing, the world felt real and didn't feel like a dream. It's been seven years since I've been in the present moment. Don't know when I'll be back, but my spirit guides and the universe reassure me it'll be soon... patience seems to be a big lesson, I just feel deadened in my heart chakra sometimes, can't feel my emotions at all and the world is grey and dreary, bleak, like I am cut off from love, the feeling of it in general. I feel this grief, and I know where it comes from, it's just so big, and I don;'t know how to find closure from it. I try affirmations and root chakra healings all the time and I go into nature as well with my bare feet, but sometimes I'm just sitting there and i'm trying so hard to be present but I still drift off into the higher up realms, no idea where my minds gone, it's just not there. I feel like i'm meditating with a blank state of mind but im not present and i'm too afraid to tune into what is up in the higher realms because of the fear injuries to do with my root chakra.
So, anyway, I had to get this out today. If you decided to read all of this, thank you for being a listener, it means a lot to my heart. I recently found out my best friend from childhood has been into spirituality all a long, but out of respect of her own emotional boundaries, she was not able to talk about this with me today. So, I posted here. Maybe it will be an interesting read for some of you. It was an emotional release to me.
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