Hi Questionable soul, I go along with all Linda said, all your questions cannot be answered at once, things fall into place bit by bit.
She’s also right suggesting taking a step back. If it’s possible to sit quietly somewhere, with music that totally relaxes you, or just silent, whatever is best for you.
I notice you say you feel someone calling you, if you manage to relax quietly, could be you will receive some insights, but fear can block it, we do have guides, they are there to help and will never cause you harm.
It’s horrible to feel all over the place, there is so much info out there, we don’t know what to believe sometimes, so back to being still, quieting the mind chatter. It will come darling, please try not to worry and be fearful, there is nothing to fear.
This is a loving forum, people who care and will help you any way they can.