By Dawn Grace Kelly: I believe we all have varying degrees of trauma. There are no perfect childhoods. Our care givers did things the only way they knew how to at the time. Their actions were based on their own history. Being human means we make mistakes and can operate unconsciously from ego, fear and conditioning. As adults our intellect can make sense of that yet understanding trauma does not heal it.
The spiritual truth that we create our lives to learn the lessons we are drawn to work on doesn’t heal trauma either. It too helps us understand yet fear and deep emotion are still trapped in our physical cells causing us an array of issues.
The way we internalise events varies depending on our sensitivities and circumstances. The bottles of paint I accidentally knocked down creating a major colourful mess while helping a teacher when I was 7 is not what many would perceive as traumatic yet I was overwhelmed with emotion I didn’t know how to cope with. Those less sensitive or more emotionally intelligent may have laughed and rolled with it. That experience certainly wasn’t life threatening like other traumatic situations I was involved in yet it did bring about some internalised shame.
Trauma has been defined as the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. I have been working on deactivating my own wound up, deeply buried inner turmoil for many years so I have come to know the nature of trauma well.
Lately I’ve noticed that others are having spontaneous trauma memories appearing. It seems we are collectively ready to handle the truth of our past so we can make peace with it for a healthier, happier life.
Unhealed trauma creates –
- Addiction (being busy, eating, drinking, over thinking, working, gaming, exercising etc… as ways to avoid one’s feelings. It’s rampant.)
- Relationship issues
- Blame and judgement
- Body pain and tension
- Over reactions
- Sexual issues
- Money problems
- Lack of self esteem
- Health problems
There’s more I could add to that list but you get the idea. Trauma is affecting our lives adversely and stopping us from living to our full potential.
Here’s what needs to happen for healing to come about –
- Be present to uncomfortable feelings
- Stay with your bodily experience
- Resist analysing – it will disconnect you from your body
- Experience the emotion that wants to move – it is old, trapped energy that was not allowed space to be expressed
- Be patient with yourself, trauma healing is a process
- Know that timing is everything – you must have a safe space to be vulnerable when trauma is ready to be unlocked. (people who can listen, understand, be empathic and give you room to feel are valuable)
- You also need a particular level of psychological maturity to be courageous enough to allow painful emotion to release from your body
Trust what is occurring. Don’t be annoyed that there is more to heal. Healing is a long, long journey. It isn’t a few workshops and sessions, nor is it one big purge and it’s all done. We have a lot to make peace with. Go gently and kindly. Life is a play; the game gets easier as we make room for more light in our body. Be brave and loving.
Wishing you gentleness on your healing journey