The Path to the Resilient Life


By Jacob Silva, contributing writer for

The Path to the Resilient Life

Every day, we’re prone to experiencing debacles that can demoralize us. These usually come at times when we least expect it. It catches us off-guard. These are heart-wrenching defeats in our work, personal, financial, or married life.

When adversity hits you, what’s your immediate reaction? Do you tremble in fear, or do you see this as an opportunity to test your resolve? If it’s the latter, then you’re likely a person of resilience.

If you believe that your spirits aren’t that tough yet, don’t cringe. You still have ample of time to shape your thinking into a more durable one.

Below are three disciplines that you should practice when facing changes or undesirable situations as a testament to being resilient.

#1: It begins with an honest recognition of the situation

The foundation of resiliency is honesty. You can’t call yourself honest when you’re constantly throwing shade and blame on other people.

Owe your mistakes. Be honest about why you failed, and picture in your mind what didn’t work. By doing so, you’ll know in your heart that you’re primarily responsible for improving/fixing it, or for bouncing back harder.

A person who keeps going on without recognizing his mistakes is like a ticking bomb. When it explodes, it’s already too late. There’s too many things that need to be remedied at that time, making his mind unable to generate sound solutions.

#2: Remind yourself what have, what you are, and what you bring to the table

There’s no way I can finish this report on time!”

I’m in a very precarious situation, and it’s just unfair!”

The abovementioned remarks are usually uttered by people who seemed to have given up already. They believe they exhausted all possible means to resolve the situation, but they may have forgotten a couple of affirmations.

What are those?

When faced with an imposing life challenge, remind yourself the following:

I Am: a faithful and nurturing person, genuinely cares about my comrades, and finds joy in challenges; these are things that are natural to you.

I Have: a fostering family, collaborative workplace, supportive superiors, and encouraging community; these are your support systems on which you can expect relief.

I Can: write impeccable content, juggle between tasks without impairing quality, establish good rapport with almost everybody; these are your social, soft, and hard skills that you were able to harness through the years.

The abovementioned strategy was devised by Psychologist Edith Grotberg, Ph. D., believing that it’s imperative to remind yourself of your ‘strengths’ every once in a while.

This’ll give you a sense of confidence, enabling you to tackle problems that seemed insurmountable at first.

#3: Maintain a calm and composed stature

This is easier said than done. When faced with hardships and challenges, thinking rationally is compromised and you tend to make rash decisions.

That’s because you let emotions get the best of you in delicate times. Remember that you’re more susceptible to making bad decisions under this state, so back off for a little.

Check your breathing, your tension, or your heart rate. Do you seem hassled and hurried? If you are, step away for a while.

Close your monitor if you must. Isolate yourself from people if you need to. It’s through silence and solitude that you’ll be able to assess the soundness of each alternative, before ultimately deciding.

Strive to be as informed as possible before deciding too. As a person practicing resiliency, you don’t want to create additional problems as a result of a bad mistake.

As a wrap-up, resiliency is a choice that not all people appreciate. It’s having the guts to go out of your comfort zone to test the waters. It requires unwavering resolve to venture into uncertainty where the hopes of success always ace the probability of failure.


About the Author

Jacob Silva - The Path to the Resilient LifeJacob Silva is a former elementary professor and life coach. He loves relating with people and helping solve their concerns. Jacob is a full-time father too. He decided to work at home to better cater the needs of his two sons. Currently, Jacob works as web administrator and essayist at

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I've found admitting a mistake or defeat releases so much guilt and pain that I have more room to move forward.


So good to be reminded of these every once in a while…<3