The Big Bad - or Just My Spirit Animal? (1 Viewer)

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Rogue Watcher

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Oct 6, 2016
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When I was very young, I had a Peter and the Wolf audio cassette tape. At some point I had heard what was supposedly a Russian version of the story where Peter was killed by the wolf when the village didn't believe the wolf had shown. So the next time I listened to the tape, I just freaked. I remember running through the house shouting for my mom.

Some time after that, I began to have night terrors. I was being terrorized by a tall, white wolf. Standing on all fours, it would be able to look directly into my current eyes at 6'2". It's eyes glowed red and it drooled with a voracious hunger as it spoke guttural but eloquent English.

In one dream, I would be sitting on the floor with my back against the bed in the spare bedroom - playing with legos. My brother and I wouldn't have to put them away as often when we played with them there instead of the family room. I would look up and to the left. The wolf would be standing in the hallway with its forward form well into the bedroom, looking down at my face. It would tell me that he just killed my brother. Then I would look past him. He would turn his head slightly to look over his shoulder and sneer - waiting for the right moment to tell me "Don't bother yelling for your parents. They are already dead." Splashes of blood were along the master bedroom door. Then he would lunge at me.

In the other dream, my brother and I would be playing in the family room. My mom and dad were in their chairs watching tv. I would look up an see my dog through the sliding glass door to the backyard. I'd say dad, "you forget to let Sparky back in". My brother would get up to open the door to let him back in. But then my dad would say, "What are you talking about? He's right here." I'd look down to see Sparky sleeping a few feet away. Then I'd look up and Sparky would be walking through the newly open door. My eyes would light up with horror and the entering dog would morph into the wolf. I'd through up my arms to block but then Sparky would jump in the way, dying instantly. The wolf would get to me anyway.

Though the dreams would not happen every night, they would return for months; maybe even years.

Eventually, the dreams ceased sometime before high school.

[INTERLUDE... it takes me WAY to long to write stuff when I am watching anime]
 

Anaeika

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Interesting reoccuring nightmare sparked by a children’s classic bedtime story. The Russian version is darker than the American version.
Did you “cry wolf” a lot when you were a kid?
Have you looked up wolf symbology?

My childhood reoccurring nightmare, which I still seldomly dream about, is the haunted house I grew up in.
 
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Lila

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Lots of symbols to explore in this dream sequence, it seems.

What stands out for me in the first dream is that you were left alone and defenseless before being lunged at. In the second dream what seems to stand out for me is that you said something that inadvertently, and to your horror 'let the (sneaky) wolf in the door'.

I've often heard wolves described as symbolizing family-oriented, protective and reliable forces which stick together to form a 'pack' (at least when seen as 'positive' wolves). In this sense, it seems to fit that your family is involved in both dreams, with your brother, in particular, featured prominently. Perhaps if this dream wolf was so intent on eating you after devouring your family in gory ways, it represents some twisting of these forces into something very scary for you as a child?

I'd wonder what happened in high school to dispel these dreams? In some way you seem to have surmounted them or left them behind?:)
 
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Rogue Watcher

Rogue Watcher

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I was sharing my experience at a high school lunch, and one of them theorized that a character I made to represent me in a game either held the wolf at bay or was the personification of my mastery over it. I certainly didn't create him for the purpose but it was interesting to think about. The character is kind of difficult to describe without knowing the context of the game. So, nerding out for a second, it was a Star Wars game where each player controlled a fleet of about 200 ships belonging to the Empire, Rebellion, etc. Generally, in the game, you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Everyone hands in orders and the dude running the game calculates the outcome and in which order they occurred. But if your character kicks the bucket for any reason, game over forever.

My character was a rebel (a surprise to everyone huh? lol ). Through him, I invented a great many ship designs and technologies. Come to think of it, I never really used anything I didn't design myself. He was inventive and sneaky but honorable in combat. I suppose I envisioned him as somewhat of an anti-hero.

Game character aside, I was also in Navy ROTC during high school. It's kind of like a no-obligation military class where you are taught how to march, nautical science, etc. It was one of my two electives (pick-what-you-want) classes. Though I already had significant connection to service traditions (military, law enforcement, medical, teaching), actually participating helped to fortify my confidence as a young man.

The only other time I saw the wolf - was almost 10 years later in college. I was explaining the wolf and night terrors to my friend using instant messenger. She lived in the same apartment complex and decided to sneak over to my window. I was busy reliving the moment and was getting chills. When she knocked on the window next to my head, I didn't see her. I saw him. I almost fell out of my chair trying to jump back. I don't remember, but I may have even been shouting "How? Why!?" My friend, on the other hand, she just started laughing her ass off. I recognized her then and all traces of his presence just poofed out of non-existence.

By this time in my life, the door had been opened. So when I first read of spirit animals and began wondering what mine would be, I visualized a large white wolf. Obviously, I was aware of the irony but even after one of my other friends mentioned spirit animals could be any kind of animal, a giant white wolf still felt more real. A part of me wants it to be that wolf. Though I really don't know why. Everything about him seems evil. Unless, he has some sort of helpful motive and he's just a -- lol. I just went through several "expletive deletives" -- jerk. I really don't know.

My most recent thoughts, however, are that I still don't know the identity of my spirit animal. But even if he's a wolf, his own spirit animal would probably be Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. ^^
 
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Lila

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I was sharing my experience at a high school lunch, and one of them theorized that a character I made to represent me in a game either held the wolf at bay or was the personification of my mastery over it.
Oh, imagination and role playing; such powerful ways to change one's interior world! And you 'teched' your way out of a scary situation via a 'rebel' character; seems like a creative solution.
 
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Rogue Watcher

Rogue Watcher

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Oh, imagination and role playing; such powerful ways to change one's interior world! And you 'teched' your way out of a scary situation via a 'rebel' character; seems like a creative solution.
It is possible but I didn't do it consciously, if that is the case. It seems logical though. Visualization and meditation are both very similar to role playing.
 
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