Sexuality... and such (1 Viewer)

[Angela]

Hey guys. I had a question regarding sexuality. All of the information in spiritual development that talks about it, discusses how incredibly important it is. How it helps you to reach further depths, how you can learn to harness tremendous amounts of energy toward further realization and blah blah, etc.

What if you're asexual?
Does one completely miss out on this ability simply because it's who they are?

Disclaimer: as i know i won't be judged here...
I've recently discovered myself to be asexual and it's been such a terrible roller coaster of emotions, further feelings of being broken, and essentially realizing how much of myself i don't like. So please be fairly gentle with your responses.

 

[PJ]

I think that is great, I have found the more that I can accept about myself, the bigger I become. I am gay, but that is just a part of me, I'm also Irish, just another part of me and so on til I am a human, but that is still just a part me. At times some of these parts took on greater importance when I was coming to terms with them, but over time they have fallen into place. It is always hard when going through the process of acceptance but with it comes new life. Elizabeth Kubler Ross was known for the 5 stages of death, acceptance being the last, once accepted one can move on to a new life.
Confratulations,
Love PJ

 

[Linda]

First - you are NOT broken. This is just where you are now.

I'm pretty sure a bunch of people would like to hear from others with experience.

Second - If I recall correctly, you have a young child. Making sure he has all the best food, play, learning, etc. takes a whole lot of energy.

 

[Vickie]

Angela, sexuality has become burdened with many judgments, fears and emotions. Just because someone tells you, or you read, that being sexual is vital to spirituality does not make it true. That's simply someone's opinion. I personally think love is far more important to being a spiritual person than sex.

 

[Laron]

Angela, spiritual development is a key area of focus in life for me, and is something I teach through my articles on transients.info, all of which are linked to in the current site’s menu under articles (they won’t be there on the new site as I am making the site more of a community focus). I plan to write a book focused around this topic eventually.

I don’t see a specific sexuality type, or person’s gender, as being relevant to spiritual development. But they play a role in terms of learning, and going through specific experiences within the incarnation cycle on Earth. They will also relate directly to a volunteer soul who came in for the first time, and who needs to experience something specific to accomplish their primary life tasks.

Sexual energy can be harnessed to manifest, but there are many ways to manifest and use the law of attraction. I only see that as an option, not something which is solely more powerful than other methods.

When out of body, sexual alchemy can be used to enhance and develop a person’s vibration and vehicle that they can use for travel, in terms of spiritual progression and development, but again, this is not a requirement or mandatory thing for spiritual development, just one other option to attempt and one other path to go down, when there are many paths leading to the same destination. Two beings are required for this though, but a person doesn't need to have a sexual attraction to do this — it's just a totally different experience to human life.

Most people who go out of body through conscious astral projection will run into major difficulties and blocks, in terms of how far they progress, unless they have done a lot of work on their ego, in terms of addressing all the elements that control their behavior and emotions so that they gain control over it. In terms of ego, I am referring to such elements as envy, anger, gluttony, lust, greed, and so on. A person who is asexual will find the aspect of lust less of an issue when out of body, so it wouldn’t control them if they want to explore spiritual development from this direction. This is a very positive thing as people can be so easily distracted (on purpose) when they are exploring spiritual development from that direction.

In terms of harnessing your energy, you can do a great deal of work through ‘energy work’, without having to harness sexual energy, as instead you harness it in a different way. Check out Robert Bruce’s book, ‘Energy Work’ for more information on that. This brings with it not just self-healing, in terms of clearing energetic blocks that link into emotional issues causing illness, but also can enhance dormant psychic facilities and assist with easier astral projection if that is a passion, as well as help to grow spiritually.

I honestly don’t see being asexual as an issue at all, as there are so many ways to progress on the spiritual path. I know of another Roundtable member who recently mentioned they were asexual, so you are not alone here (in that sense).

 

[Snowmelt]

People throw the word enlightenment around a lot these days, but the type I learned through eastern mysticism (and having a satori experience) is that it's helluva like a big orgasm, that doesn't just take you physically, but takes you beyond yourself. I have not experienced this to the full, but the satori experience was a good foretaste, and I have loved my eastern guru and thus been open to his ways of expressing his experience (which cannot be expressed). Kind of why Zen is like one hand clapping.

So being sexual in the physical body and experiencing orgasm with that is like little steps to the bigger, potential experience. Similarly, falling off to sleep at night is like nightly experiencing death in little steps. There are no rights and wrongs, and asexuality (which I learned about from my sister's life) surely doesn't preclude enlightenment. It's just that sexuality is given to us as an energy format to experience giving and sharing, and opening the heart, and blowing our mind.

In the micro sense the lover in relationship is the Beloved. In the macro sense, Source and All That Is sees its creation as the Beloved. The Beloved living life joyously and with freedom, making room for the Guest, the mysterious unknown, to enter.

However, for sure and certain, the patriarchy we have endured for the last 2,000 years has played havoc with the ability of many women to relax into an orgasmic experience, to allow such deep relaxation and confidence personally while sharing intimately. Hence, my heart lifts with joy to know that the patriarchy is falling away due to the change of the ages, the new bringing forth the old in the sense that women will once again come into their divine feminine/divine masculine energy balance, and presumably, a world where less loudness and more sensitivity will open a path to sensual, orgasmic experience.

 

[Stargazer]

Angela, I greatly admire your strength and openness! Sexuality can be both a blessing and a burden at times. Just because people aren't being intimate in the way "society" might expect them to doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the people or their relationship. Frankly, my feeling is that sex is way over-rated--and we have a great many dysfunctions because of these unrealistic expectations.

I have a profound appreciation for intimacy and the wonderful sense of union that two people can experience in a loving relationship, BUT I've seen an awful lot of anguish caused by sexual "hang-ups" as well. In my family, through multiple generations in fact, I've known those who have apparently seen sex as something to be used as a tool to manipulate or control others. Sadly, I've seen it used as a weapon, a bribe, a reward, entertainment, a stress-reliever, a punishment, and an entitlement.

In my own experience, I've learned that sexuality is just a small part of a loving relationship. From my perspective, friendship and respect MUST come first, last, and always. Partners are different and therefore each has different needs and expectations. Timing can sometimes be a challenge, when one may be feeling receptive and the other is not. Once you figure in all the distractions of daily living, the limited "windows of opportunity" for those who have children, and the many responsibilities we have as adults, it's a wonder that some couples can ever find the time, energy, or motivation to have some "alone time".

One of the ways I've learned to deal with this kind of challenge is to work on my ability to give my family members unconditional love. That is, to express love without expecting anything in return. I try to surprise my wife with flowers, a card, and/or a bottle of wine for no reason (or just because it's a day of the week that ends in "day"). If I stop at a store on the way home from work, I'll buy my son an unexpected treat. I try to tell them I love them at least once a day...and I often phrase it in a question: "You know I love you (or I'm proud of you or you're a good kid), right?" And I always try to give them a kiss goodnight, even if I'm upset with them for some reason. I also give them affectionate pats, hugs, or smiles in passing...anything to let them know how I feel about them.

Where my wife and our relationship is concerned, I feel these frequent, loving exchanges go a long way in reassuring each of us that we care about one another--even if we aren't being especially intimate otherwise.

Finally, I'm learning to be more patient--with myself and my wife. I'm learning to appreciate all the many things we do for one another every day...cooking dinner, cleaning the house, going to work. I'm finding greater trust that everything else, including the less frequent intimate parts will happen at just the right time, and they usually do just that.

My best suggestion? Just focus on the Love and the wonderful things that brought you together as family. Everything else will fall right into place after that.

 

[Sinera]

Kundalini as a part of energetic awakening experience is always reported to be related to sexuality. And yes, as someone who in 2009 somehow experienced a heavy symptom of this 'energy' (!) I can say there is something to it.

 

[Linda]

I had a kundalini awakening many years ago, after a big auto accident. It awakened my creative side. I got together with a group of woman in my neighborhood and we went through the book, The Artist's Way (Julia Cameron). In 2010, I had a kundalini refresher course, and my meditations changed to a more exploratory nature.

As Laron said above, there are so many ways to progress on the spiritual path.

 

[Laron]

Kundalini as a part of energetic awakening experience is always reported to be related to sexuality.

My kundalini awakening experience was not sexual based. There was a lot of snake symbolism involved. The author/teacher I mentioned above teaches one of the only energy work based methods out there (that I am aware of) that fully explains how to raise the kundalini, which can be done multiple times. I have his programme but never got around to using it. I spoke about it in this article here on transients.info back in 2013. (Bruce's website is a bit of a turn off for me though, as it's very marketing focused which I feel isn't the real him, just what he learnt to do to get an income from his work)

Sometimes we are taught and told how something is meant to be, so our experience is going to match that based on our expectations and beliefs. If we don't fall into that trap of belief we can sometimes have a very unique experience which may not be the same as what is to be expected by others, yet is exactly the same in the end.

 

[Solnarehyah]

Hi Angela,
Thank you for bringing this up. I've had much confusion about this topic but never had the courage to discuss it. While my understanding of sexuality has been evolving now to different levels, I am still only discovering it.
I grew up with eastern gurus and philosophy which only taught me to hide sexuality and so building much fear and guilt connected to it. Spiritually me must reserve sexuality only for procreation even between married couples.
After my awakening , I've explored a new perspective to it, like a lot of advice here about how it's lower/micro experience of being intimate with God.
While I understand the concept but working to completely accept it specially the physical aspect. So I have no problem not exploring the physical sexuality and enjoying the spiritual aspect of it but I have discomfort with the physical part of it. I feel like to evolve further in this area, I'll have to accept both as one.
I don't know if it helps but that's mu personal experience.. and it does help me to share.

 

[Solnarehyah]

Angela, I greatly admire your strength and openness! Sexuality can be both a blessing and a burden at times. Just because people aren't being intimate in the way "society" might expect them to doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the people or their relationship. Frankly, my feeling is that sex is way over-rated--and we have a great many dysfunctions because of these unrealistic expectations.

I have a profound appreciation for intimacy and the wonderful sense of union that two people can experience in a loving relationship, BUT I've seen an awful lot of anguish caused by sexual "hang-ups" as well. In my family, through multiple generations in fact, I've known those who have apparently seen sex as something to be used as a tool to manipulate or control others. Sadly, I've seen it used as a weapon, a bribe, a reward, entertainment, a stress-reliever, a punishment, and an entitlement.

In my own experience, I've learned that sexuality is just a small part of a loving relationship. From my perspective, friendship and respect MUST come first, last, and always. Partners are different and therefore each has different needs and expectations. Timing can sometimes be a challenge, when one may be feeling receptive and the other is not. Once you figure in all the distractions of daily living, the limited "windows of opportunity" for those who have children, and the many responsibilities we have as adults, it's a wonder that some couples can ever find the time, energy, or motivation to have some "alone time".

One of the ways I've learned to deal with this kind of challenge is to work on my ability to give my family members unconditional love. That is, to express love without expecting anything in return. I try to surprise my wife with flowers, a card, and/or a bottle of wine for no reason (or just because it's a day of the week that ends in "day"). If I stop at a store on the way home from work, I'll buy my son an unexpected treat. I try to tell them I love them at least once a day...and I often phrase it in a question: "You know I love you (or I'm proud of you or you're a good kid), right?" And I always try to give them a kiss goodnight, even if I'm upset with them for some reason. I also give them affectionate pats, hugs, or smiles in passing...anything to let them know how I feel about them.

Where my wife and our relationship is concerned, I feel these frequent, loving exchanges go a long way in reassuring each of us that we care about one another--even if we aren't being especially intimate otherwise.

Finally, I'm learning to be more patient--with myself and my wife. I'm learning to appreciate all the many things we do for one another every day...cooking dinner, cleaning the house, going to work. I'm finding greater trust that everything else, including the less frequent intimate parts will happen at just the right time, and they usually do just that.

My best suggestion? Just focus on the Love and the wonderful things that brought you together as family. Everything else will fall right into place after that.

That was so beautiful put Stargazer It's hard work but worth it. Thank-you

 

[Sinera]

My kundalini awakening experience was not sexual based. There was a lot of snake symbolism involved.

I did not have a kundalini awakening actually. It was just a kind of 'symptom' of its energy. And it happened at a time when I had not even heard of Kundalini let alone knew what it meant.

I only found out about it later and the descriptions of what happened to me matched it perfectly. So it was not really based about former beliefs because I did not even know it.

I agree about R. Bruce, his site is too much into hard-sell marketing and I have also no experience with his Kundalini courses. I just read Astraldynamics which I always liked and am since then (2010) as regular poster on his forum.

 

[Laron]

I only found out about it later and the descriptions of what happened to me matched it perfectly.

Is it possible that what occurred may have been related to something entirely different? I think I understand what you are referring to, and if that is the case then there are different ways for that to occur without it being connected into kundalini activity.

I have never studied the topic so just have direct experience and intuitive insight when someone asks me a question about it. I have seen experiences mentioned briefly in a few books though. I just googled it for the first time and one of the first results listed these symptoms of kundalini rising.

– feeling different, not fitting in
– a deep dissatisfaction or a yearning for inner development
– inner sensations of light, sound, current, or heat
– a heightened inner or outer awareness; increased sensitivity
– feelings of energy flowing or vibrating within
– special abilities, capacities, and talents
– non-ordinary phenomena; altered states
– spontaneous bodily movements or breathing patterns
– emotional fluctuations; psychological issues coming forward
– atypical sensations or sensitivities
– an interest in spiritual growth or in metaphysics or the esoteric
– compassion and a desire to help others
– a sense that something non-ordinary, transformative, or holy is happening within
– personal development, and optimally, spiritual transformation and realization
​

So all of those symptoms are what I have experienced on many occasions over the years and I never considered them related to my kundalini rising. I felt that they were part of my spiritual progression in the sense of my vibation rising and my own spiritual growth. As our energy centers and system becomes more healthy, aligned, unblocked—whatever a person wants to label the situation—through self development with the help of inner child work; addressing conditioning and emotional issues and attachments; overcoming fears, challenges, trials, tests in life; having direct metaphysical experiences; working on the ego, etc, we will start to experience many different sensations, feelings, and moments, and notice energy movement more easily.

My actual kundalini rising/awakening experience was during a plant medicine ceremony as I had enhanced psychic senses to monitor it, and Paul, who will be one of our two hosts with our transients.info group next year, could also see what was going on with me at the time as he was taking part in the plant medicine ceremony, so gave me feedback when it was occurring. As well as feeling it, I was shown the process through images at the time which made it clear to me that it was actually occurring, so it wasn't really something I had doubt about as it became a knowing, so not a belief.

I only found out about it later and the descriptions of what happened to me matched it perfectly. So it was not really based about former beliefs

So this is still a form of belief, as you are getting information from an external source outside of yourself and possibly believing that the experience is the same. So it wouldn't matter if you had learnt about it before or after in this instance.

In the above example I show that a persons explanation of the kundalini rising is actually the same thing as other areas of spirituality, so it's really important to be open minded about all our experiences and not get stuck in any one belief as they can be a block for further growth. A person may think, 'oh, been there, done that, don't need to do anymore work there' as a result of thinking they had already experienced something specific they were aiming at, but the case may be that they experienced something entirely different and may still yet experience what they were aiming for if they are open to it.

 

[Brian]

Angela, I greatly admire your strength and openness! Sexuality can be both a blessing and a burden at times. Just because people aren't being intimate in the way "society" might expect them to doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the people or their relationship. Frankly, my feeling is that sex is way over-rated--and we have a great many dysfunctions because of these unrealistic expectations.

I have a profound appreciation for intimacy and the wonderful sense of union that two people can experience in a loving relationship, BUT I've seen an awful lot of anguish caused by sexual "hang-ups" as well. In my family, through multiple generations in fact, I've known those who have apparently seen sex as something to be used as a tool to manipulate or control others. Sadly, I've seen it used as a weapon, a bribe, a reward, entertainment, a stress-reliever, a punishment, and an entitlement.

In my own experience, I've learned that sexuality is just a small part of a loving relationship. From my perspective, friendship and respect MUST come first, last, and always. Partners are different and therefore each has different needs and expectations. Timing can sometimes be a challenge, when one may be feeling receptive and the other is not. Once you figure in all the distractions of daily living, the limited "windows of opportunity" for those who have children, and the many responsibilities we have as adults, it's a wonder that some couples can ever find the time, energy, or motivation to have some "alone time".

One of the ways I've learned to deal with this kind of challenge is to work on my ability to give my family members unconditional love. That is, to express love without expecting anything in return. I try to surprise my wife with flowers, a card, and/or a bottle of wine for no reason (or just because it's a day of the week that ends in "day"). If I stop at a store on the way home from work, I'll buy my son an unexpected treat. I try to tell them I love them at least once a day...and I often phrase it in a question: "You know I love you (or I'm proud of you or you're a good kid), right?" And I always try to give them a kiss goodnight, even if I'm upset with them for some reason. I also give them affectionate pats, hugs, or smiles in passing...anything to let them know how I feel about them.

Where my wife and our relationship is concerned, I feel these frequent, loving exchanges go a long way in reassuring each of us that we care about one another--even if we aren't being especially intimate otherwise.

Finally, I'm learning to be more patient--with myself and my wife. I'm learning to appreciate all the many things we do for one another every day...cooking dinner, cleaning the house, going to work. I'm finding greater trust that everything else, including the less frequent intimate parts will happen at just the right time, and they usually do just that.

My best suggestion? Just focus on the Love and the wonderful things that brought you together as family. Everything else will fall right into place after that.

Sounds like a good model for how families should be. Loving. Glad that everything's working out for you. Life is what you make of it, a life filled with unconditional love

 

[Brian]

I feel like honesty towards yourself is part of the spiritual path. The more honest we are, the closer we get to the truth of our being. Thus, having no sexual desires is just being one step closer to who you are. As I see love is appreciated through our actions with others, say unconditional love. I love my friends, I don't expect anything in return. My love isn't clouded by sexual thoughts or desires, because that's just my kind of unique love that I have. As we each have our own unique love to share!

 

[Andi]

Hey guys. I had a question regarding sexuality. All of the information in spiritual development that talks about it, discusses how incredibly important it is. How it helps you to reach further depths, how you can learn to harness tremendous amounts of energy toward further realization and blah blah, etc.

What if you're asexual?
Does one completely miss out on this ability simply because it's who they are?

Disclaimer: as i know i won't be judged here...
I've recently discovered myself to be asexual and it's been such a terrible roller coaster of emotions, further feelings of being broken, and essentially realizing how much of myself i don't like. So please be fairly gentle with your responses.

Hey guys. I had a question regarding sexuality. All of the information in spiritual development that talks about it, discusses how incredibly important it is. How it helps you to reach further depths, how you can learn to harness tremendous amounts of energy toward further realization and blah blah, etc.

What if you're asexual?
Does one completely miss out on this ability simply because it's who they are?

Disclaimer: as i know i won't be judged here...
I've recently discovered myself to be

 

[Out of Time]

There are many ways to spiritual growth and they all probably lead to the same result. Unfortunately, I have little understanding of asexuality and I would like to learn more about it.

 

[Snowmelt]

At the moment of orgasm, the monkey mind gets kicked off its post - temporarily. It is an altered state. Of course I mean when your whole body-mind is involved, that's how it is for the female, anyhow. Now, spiritual enlightenment is a persistent state of this. If there is mind chatter you are completely conscious of it, perhaps before it even forms a thought, and you are conscious of the linearity of the "train of thoughts" which are like railway cars joined together leading you down different tracks in reaction of one thought to another. The spiritually enlightened person is no longer identified with the ego-mind, that is, he/she has learned to kick the monkey mind off its post.

There is more than one way to learn how to do this, but sexuality is a natural way. Another way, if you can access it deeply enough, is laughter.

 

[Brian]

There are many ways up the mountain, but the end result is the same as there is but one peak.

 

[Angela]

Unfortunately, I have little understanding of asexuality and I would like to learn more about it.

http://www.asexuality.org
This site felt pretty spot on to me. There are faqs and such too that thoroughly explain it all.

Thank you all for such thoughtful and considerate answers, by the way. I have read through all of them, but i want to do another run through.

 

[Out of Time]

I am aware that during intercourse there is an extensive mingling of energies and asexuality may e a call to prevent unwanted interference.

 

[Sinera]

In the above example I show that a persons explanation of the kundalini rising is actually the same thing as other areas of spirituality, so it's really important to be open minded about all our experiences and not get stuck in any one belief as they can be a block for further growth. A person may think, 'oh, been there, done that, don't need to do anymore work there' as a result of thinking they had already experienced something specific they were aiming at, but the case may be that they experienced something entirely different and may still yet experience what they were aiming for if they are open to it

I agree that it is important not to label too much. Maybe I should have made it more clear: And I am not and never was keen on any Kundalini-related experience to be honest I never tried it. It was a kind of 'accident' happening when I induced my first out-of-body experience (as said, not knowing about Kundalini then) and I did not expect this.

Actually this is even quite funny from todays viewpoint, because back then first I mistook it for the famous AP vibrations and later on in forums I read other descriptions of projectors stating that the vibrations were so nice and agreeable. I thought these people were out of their minds.


I never wanted this to be repeated.

Only later I had vibrations myself during the onset of OBE/AP and knew they were sth completely different. I can give a longer description of what I experienced as a 'symptom' at a later time.

In short: It just matched the descriptions of one symptom of Kundalini (belief) which is the 'violent' snake moving along the spine, up your torso, very 'disruptive', 1-2 seconds for each electic thrust. I had it in sleep paralysis state while inducing out-of-body experience, for a whole minute or so, two times.

Once you had this, you never forget it. And (regarding sexuality...) the movement it also felt a bit orgasmic - but without the fun. I even compared my torso then to a kind of ejaculating penis.


And later I also read this in a book whose female author I have forgotten (need to look it up) and she describes the exact same sensation / symptom happening to her. Then other descriptions also matched it, or at least in part.

I do not mind if I can label it Kundalini and/or match it to any Eastern belief system, but it showed to me back then that some of this 'energetic' heavy stuff you can experience is real and that others had it too. And that the energy bodies and chakras might be very real (although they might be belief systems too). Maybe it was not "kundalini" as such (that's why I only said it's a 'symptom') but the opening of the chakras for the first time in order to project, maybe with help of my guides. I had not started yet at that time with any kind of energy work. I had only read one book on it (Bill Buhlman) and tried the method.

If it was a chakra column opening or initation it was a very 'heavy' opening I can tell.


Or maybe a kind of initiation to show me sth - that is what Tom Campbell talks about, all kind of energetic experiences can happen then. As said above, it was also related to my first and only RTZ-projection ('etheric') where I saw my self 'for real' from the outside lying in bed (later exits were always into the Astral planes).

There's more strange obervations to this experience. Maybe this now leads too much off-topic here. I will make a thread on it soon in our AP/OBE board to describe it better.

 

[Laron]

^Thanks for sharing Sinera. I am sure many appreciated hearing about your direct experiences and what one can go through when energetic based movement within the energy body occurs, whatever label we place on it or theory that may apply. I guess you can see how fear can hold us back.

where I saw my self 'for real' from the outside lying in bed (later exits were always into the Astral planes).

In addition to my astral travels, I've also experienced this a few times, including seeing my astral body above me from back in my body ('astral sight'). It's really helpful having these experiences as it's that little bit of direct experience which shows us that there is more to every day life that we can get so caught up in.

Hey guys. I had a question regarding sexuality.

This was the second most read thread last week — I thought that was interesting; we must have spoken about some interesting and helpful things.

 

[ElleCee]

Hey guys. I had a question regarding sexuality. All of the information in spiritual development that talks about it, discusses how incredibly important it is. How it helps you to reach further depths, how you can learn to harness tremendous amounts of energy toward further realization and blah blah, etc.

What if you're asexual?
Does one completely miss out on this ability simply because it's who they are?

Disclaimer: as i know i won't be judged here...
I've recently discovered myself to be asexual and it's been such a terrible roller coaster of emotions, further feelings of being broken, and essentially realizing how much of myself i don't like. So please be fairly gentle with your responses.

Hi Angela!
You are a very brave person to come out as asexual. I am in the Pansexual and Polyamory communities and there is much support there for Asexual persons - also known as ACEs. I also have one long time Asexual friend. She has only had two or three short term relationships and those were mostly about companionship.

I would encourage you to explore Asexual/Ace/ACE communties online. Get to know more about yourself and find support. Most often in our society, we are inculcated into restrictive ways of thinking and gender and sexuality restrictions can be the most rigid of all.

You don't have to have sex. You can have companionship. You can be spiritual.

Remember that for most of history, people went into religious communities and gave up sex entirely to open themselves to the higher planes. In fact, I just found out that all of the Indian temple sculptures of the Kama Sutra sexual positions are for contemplation to teach the practioner how to sublimate the sexual desire.

You may be in a better position than most to attain enlightenment, you don't have to sublimate your sexual desires. You can easily use that energy to attain more spiritual mastery.

In some traditional Indian communities and with traditional Yoga, when a person or married couple attains the appropriate age, usually 50, they leave the mundane world and devote the rest of their lives to the spiritual community. They teach ritual to the children. They support the families. They just leave sex and the pleasures of the flesh behind. You may have an easier time of doing something like this.

I hope you can find support from other Asexuals/Aces such as yourself. They may not all be on a spiritual path, but they can help you withstand the onslaught of society's expectations of romantic pairing and conventional sexual relations. The world is big enough for everyone! You can have love and spiritual growth and not have to feel pressured to force something foreign upon yourself.

 

[Laron]

^Great post ElleCee!

 

[Anaeika]

Angela,
Thank you for sharing. How long have you been asexual? I am curious b/c I don't consider myself asexual, yet my sexuality has been smth very difficult to reach after becoming a mother. Even a weekend w/o kids and alone time w my husband, who I love and connect w on a soul mate level, it is difficult to get there. I feel sexual attraction & can enjoy myself, but (tmi), I just can't reach orgasm. This is frustrating for me bc I know how sex can be. I was mutiple-orgasmic & really felt an intimate connection and closeness to God. I don't know how to get it back & would like help. Is it hormonal? Is it spiritual? Do I need to do energy work? Where is the block and how do I heal?
Angela, I see you have a little too, so am wondering if you're like me or truly are asexual. My ob was telling me it's "normal" due to hormones after having babies, & it's nature's way of ensuring their survival, as our energy isn't being spent on sex. Will it come back?

 

[Angela]

Angela,
Thank you for sharing. How long have you been asexual? I am curious b/c I don't consider myself asexual, yet my sexuality has been smth very difficult to reach after becoming a mother. Even a weekend w/o kids and alone time w my husband, who I love and connect w on a soul mate level, it is difficult to get there. I feel sexual attraction & can enjoy myself, but (tmi), I just can't reach orgasm. This is frustrating for me bc I know how sex can be. I was mutiple-orgasmic & really felt an intimate connection and closeness to God. I don't know how to get it back & would like help. Is it hormonal? Is it spiritual? Do I need to do energy work? Where is the block and how do I heal?
Angela, I see you have a little too, so am wondering if you're like me or truly are asexual. My ob was telling me it's "normal" due to hormones after having babies, & it's nature's way of ensuring their survival, as our energy isn't being spent on sex. Will it come back?

I do think it went from way before i had my son. It's a difficult thing for me to figure out too, though.
When i was a child, Christianity made me abhor and fear anything sexual to the point where i would literally black out discussions in my mind so as to not tarnish my "purity". Then i actually went through some trauma with my husband and prior boyfriends (as well as the Christianity) because any time any feelings of sexually or enjoyment would come up, i would chastise myself and send myself into such an immense guilt trip that the very night we got married, i didn't feel anything. I couldn't enjoy it, it hurt, i felt shame. And for a good five years into our marriage, having never been taught, and blocking out purposefully all feelings of healthy body understanding and the understanding that i had a choice with this kind of thing, i felt raped. Constantly. It wasn't until i was pregnant that i had been able to see what had happened (as trauma victims tend to block certain memories out) and i shared it with my husband and we immediately started working on it.

This is obviously very personal stuff here I'm sharing. But I'm constantly asking myself if my "true" self is actually very sexual and body confident. And so i wonder if i actually have healed or if i am this way because of all that crap that still needs attention.
I know that is who i am now, and i will come to accept it, but i can't help but wonder "if" i could "heal properly" and become a full sexual being.

I have had enjoyment with it since. I have reached climax, but it is incredibly few and far between and takes a lot of goading. Most of the time i don't try because it just looks like such a vast hill of energy that i have to summon up to get into it. It doesn't at all seem worth it.

Anyway. There you have it. A portion of my life story. Haha

 

[Linda]

I'm interested in this thread. It has a huge number of views, which means it is of interest to a lot of people. The replies have been sincere and quite open, which is refreshing for such a sensitive and "silent" subject. Angela, your post and the all the replies have touched many people.

What I feel as I read the comments is uncertainty, doubt, and confusion because we don't have much information on what is a major part of being human. We know a lot about our other bodily functions, but not so much about this one.

The other thing I feel from you, Angela, is a sense of fearlessness - you may not recognize it, but I do.

 

[Anaeika]

Angela, Thank you for sharing your personal story. This popped into my head as helpful. It's a meditation by Astarius, entitled, "Spirit Rap."

I invoke and dream Awake Sacred Sexuality, Erotic Innocence, and always express the Sacredness of the sexual force for pleasure, creativity and healing.

I invoke and dream Awake World Universal Healing from all sexual woundedness and shame.

Here is a youtube video of the whole mantra: