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Preparing for death... the end of this life

Discussion in 'Health, Somatics & Psychological Well-being' started by Lila, May 25, 2017.

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Have you ever had a near death experience?

  1. Yes

    25.0%
  2. No

    50.0%
  3. Unsure

    25.0%
  1. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    The only thing I recall always being really clear on regarding dying is that I hope someone has the temerity to laugh at my funeral. I hope there is something of my life that this laughing friend remembers which, in the atmosphere of high emotions present at a funeral, makes them take that leap into social impropriety that involves laughing when someone close to you has died. But really it's about my friends knowing me well enough to know that I'd be happy to have them laugh, even when I'm dead. From wherever I was, I'd hope to be laughing with them:-))

    This week's Unspun by Bernie has a duo of articles on the subject. For me this is a happy synchronicity as it may add depth to any discussion on this post, which I'd already decided to write. The first article looks at Tasmania's voting on legalizing euthanasia, with a brief look at the arguments and counterarguments: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-23/tasmanian-dying-with-dignity-bill-before-parliament/8549938 The second looks at euphemisms used to say that someone has died, with a few examples of how awkward misunderstandings can be: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-23/why-we-dont-speak-openly-about-death-and-dying/8547824

    The other thing my desire for funeral laughter brings up is the concept of decision-making around the time of death. This includes a plethora of subjects like euthanasia, mentioned in the article above, wills, 'bucket lists' of things you want to do before you die and medical requests for whatever it is you want your caretakers to do for you... or avoid doing for you. How many of you have made wills? If you did, what was the impetus for doing so? Did it bring up any discussions you are glad you had? Who has a bucket list? (whether written or in your head) Who has had any kind of discussion with family or close friends about what type of care they would want if they were dying? Would you want to be unplugged from a respirator if your loved ones felt certain you would not revive?

    This last brings up the (to me anyway<:)) fascinating issue of how does one know if there is anybody 'home' in a comatose body. Certainly, with all the brain scans, heart monitors and other technology available today, mistakes still get made. Not only is this fodder for all kinds of horror movies, it also brings up the question of whether we have our own internal sensors for detecting life in an unresponsive person. If so, how do we recognize them? How do they work? And how do we hone such a skill if we aren't a palliative care nurse?

    Death is the one thing we can all really expect. Taxes are also said to be universal, but that is only in cultures that have them. Not all cultures do. Every culture has death. We all share the expectation of it. Not all cultures have much real guidance on it. I do not count bang 'em up movies as 'real guidance'. This lack of guidance can translate to fear around death and the time leading up to it. So let's get talking!

    Death is the end of this life. Have you thought much about it? About your feelings about it? When I do, I don't find much fear about death, despite being told all my life that 'everyone fears death'. I do fear the possibility of the pain that may come prior to death but the death itself seems a neutral concept to me. In fact, sometimes it seems like an exciting adventure awaiting me around the corner.

    Just like anything in life, if you don't tell anyone what you want in and around the time you are dying, you are unlikely to get it. And this is why this article is in the 'Health, etc' forum. Talking about your last wishes, if you have any, can be a healthy way to plan for yourself and a very healthy thing for your closest relationships. As always, use your discretion on this one, as not everyone will be too excited to have this discussion:fp! Even if there are some awkward or painful moments, however, getting through them can be of great benefit and open the door to an ease you, or someone close to you, hadn't realized you could have on a subject we all share.
     
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  2. Out of Time

    Out of Time Visiting Paragon

    As far as I remember, you are the soldier lady, right? I bet it is a bit easier for warriors to accept the concept of death. I agree with you that the way one dies is much more important.

    I have been thinking of what comes after that, you know, the light in the end of the tunnel that quite a few sources advise against going to. I also have a small fear that I may go back here, but I hope that won't be the case. I asked those kinds of questions to the source I trust the most. When I get the answers, I will gladly share. But, it may take a while.
     
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  3. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    Huh, never thought about it. Have I been a soldier lady in the past? Yes, for sure. Now I'm more in the healing area, with a love of martial arts:-D

    Looking forward to your answers from your trusted source:cool:
     
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  4. Stargazer

    Stargazer Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    Great topic, Lila!

    I can honestly say that I no longer fear death. While I don't wish to leave the physical any time soon, I trust that the time of my passing from this life to my next "adventure" will be perfectly timed and perfectly aligned with my own best soul growth.

    In fact, with so many ideas out there regarding ascension, The Shift, etc., I would absolutely LOVE it if we could literally transcend the need for death entirely, as some feel will happen. No matter how much "reason" says this is impossible, something deep inside tells me it's not--and this time is absolutely the best chance we have for making it happen. I can think of no better way to live than in some kind of "light body", where one can take whatever form one wishes, live in perfect health, explore and experience our beautiful world, and then, whenever we're ready (perhaps in 1,000 years or so), simply shed this form for another.

    But hey, even if that doesn't happen, I'm perfectly OK with moving on. I have no concerns whatsoever about being misled or trapped on "the other side" and trust that I'll regain full knowledge of exactly who and what I am as soon as I pass through the veil. Many have said that our beliefs here in the physical are what ultimately form our experiences once we pass over--for example, if one believes in a hell and that they are hopeless sinners, that's exactly the experience they'll manifest for themselves (at least temporarily) after death.

    My intention is to experience a smooth, joyful, and fulfilling transition to my next life experience--whatever and whenever that may be!

    :)
     
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  5. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    That would be cool!:cool:
     
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  6. Out of Time

    Out of Time Visiting Paragon

    I believe that the hellish realms are not really something to be afraid - just a place like any other. But, nobody speaks about that and nobody here channels devils, which is sad since they probably have a lot of knowledge to share.

    I also like the Nordic idea of 2 different heavens. Christianity made a poor job replacing one of them with hell.
     
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  7. Krena

    Krena Embracing Mystery, Mostly Retired Moderator

    To answer some questions: I do have a will. I have a medical directive and proxy with detailed instructions, which I reviewed with my physician. I have witnessed and heard too many instances of those dying getting stuck on respirators that were extremely unpleasant to contemplate. I have funeral instructions, which likely will not be obeyed as my husband thinks it is none of my business (I wanted no ceremony), and I instead suggested a high tea and asked a friend to organize it. I have also politically lobbied for death with dignity.

    I am an elder now. It is necessary to deal with this. This is about preparation and not fear.
    As far as leaving with the "shift," of course, that would be lovely, but it seems like an improbable treat.
     
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    Last edited: May 26, 2017
  8. Sinera

    Sinera Visiting Paragon Staff Member Moderator

    Think about death every day. Mine and that of those near me. But not in a too fearful way. I hope I will last long enough here because I still have goals to fulfil, quite a few even. So I don't expect a soon passing and did not make any preps for it, a feeling (or intuition) tells me I am right with this.

    However, there's one thing, I would like to make sure that my body gets cremated and not buried. This idea makes me cringe, so this would be a high priority to me and I should kind of look into it.

    I do not believe in a shift as such that it means we turn into light bodies. I still believe we all will pass the 'natural' physical way, unless we turn into transhumanists and become machines ;).
     
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  9. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    I love your attitude about this being about preparation... and salute the idea of high tea!:-D
     
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  10. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    These feelings about our life and death, timing, etc are something I find fascinating. They'd be a great area of study, IMHO.
     
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  11. Linda

    Linda Sweetheart of the Rodeo Staff Member Global Moderator Administrator

    We have medical directives, wills, and a death deed in case something happens to both of us so the kids can sell the house without going through probate. We've had these instruments for years, but then we are analysts and math people, so we like to have things in order. I feel it is the considerate thing to do for those remaining. The ongoing joke is that each daughter can have a punch bowl. (I have my mom's and grandmother's, but no one uses them anymore.) My husband I are to be cremated and our ashes spread in the same place in Colorado. We each expect a big party and no funeral service.

    My dad died suddenly and unexpectedly on Christmas Eve. My mom did not know where any of his papers were, and my brother and I spent a couple of days going through everything trying to piece everything together. My dad told me that he was going to change his will to make me the executor, but he did not get around to it. My mom was not good at that stuff, and it was difficult. His funeral was somber because we all were in shock.

    I made sure my mom's stuff was in order, but even though she had a medical directive with a DNR, the doctors did not follow it. I was left in the position of signing the papers to remove her from life support. I still recall standing there looking at the faces of the doctors, nurses, and family. It was the right thing to do, but it is tough when you are the one signing the papers. We had my mom's service a little later - she chose cremation. Although she had not talked about it, I was pretty sure she wanted something more like a party. She was well-known in the city for her work in historic preservation, so lots of people attended. I was sincere and funny, so everyone was laughing in my eulogy. We had snacks and champagne afterwards.
     
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  12. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    Your examples of how very different the experiences after a loved one's death can be, based on the effort put in beforehand by the dead individual, the culture death occurred in, as well as what was done by loved ones afterward, is familiar to me. Amazing what a difference to the experience prep work can make! Of course, such preparation requires us to think about death and face our associated emotions.

    I guess I shouldn't be surprised that on RT there are others who are planning high teas, parties and other celebratory events when the time comes!<3
     
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  13. Out of Time

    Out of Time Visiting Paragon

    For some reason, the idea of being cremated doesn't appeal to me. I prefer my body to rots the natural way. Some say that the soul is still somehow linked to the body for a few days after that. I have no idea if this is true however.
     
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  14. Hailstones Melt

    Hailstones Melt Boundless Creation

    Well, in cremation, the fire eats your remains. "Rotting" so called is when other living things eat your remains. I think vultures are the cleanest bone strippers of all, such as in the Tibetan sky funerals.

    Hindus require a quick cremation, probably as a way to stave off disease. Taoists, on the other hand, prefer at least 7 days to pass before disposal of mortal remains.

    In my will, I have asked for cremation, and then to be taken out in a boat to the wild waters on the further side of an island near our coast, and cast into the open currents.
     
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  15. June

    June Boundless Creation

    I have made a will and left written instructions. My family just have to make a phone call as my funeral plan is in place and paid for. I am to be cremated and my ashes scattered on the Mediterranean Sea which is where my heart has been for many years ever since I lived there. It won't be a problem as the family visit often. There has to be a short service so I've put three songs on a disc to use up some time. Elvis ' Can't Help Falling In Love With You ' when arriving. Timi Yuro, don't know if anyone has heard of her, singing a jazzed up version of ' Let Me Call You Sweetheart ' really gets the old feet tapping, right in the middle of the service, magic, and Elvis ' Its Now Or Never ' as I go on my way. I did have a wicked thought to choose 'Light My Fire ' but.......no better not. So that's all sorted. Oh, I've asked for everyone to wear bright clothing to lift the vibrations. I agree with SG when he says it would be nice if we could transcend the need for death entirely and.... to quote him. Live in some kind of (Light Body) where one can take whatever form one wishes, live in perfect health, explore and experience our beautiful world and then, whenever we are ready (perhaps in a 1000 years or so) simply shed this for another form. End of quote. I really believe it's possible to transcend but I don't see it happening in my lifetime, never-the-less I believe we can live the life we choose when we pop off to the other side. We are multi-dimensional beings and we are creators, we create our environment here although we don't realise it , but over there, freed from the prison of fear and doubt, when we see and remember who we really are, we will simply create....poof... I'll have this body today :) and so on. It seems a crazy dream here but that's because we have been deceived and dumbed down of so long. We can have any sort of life we can imagine, as we think so we are. We know thoughts create and boy have I created a good life in that other dimension, I imagine it, I visit it over and over and it is ruled by love, nothing else matters much to me, if love prevails everything else will fall into perfect place. And if anyone thinks I'm just a dreamer I say.... anything is possible if you believe it with your heart and soul, it is fear and doubt that hinders every time.
     
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  16. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    I love these requests for how they each reflect a unique perspective that seems to fit each of your personalities. Especially, for how peaceful and joyful they are!<3
    How free we are, I guess, to ask for whatever we want once we are deadO.o:D

    What if we were to all live that way, every moment. Perhaps that is what folks like Mallory meant when asked 'Why do you want to climb that mountain?' and he answered 'Because it is there.' Living close to the edge, face to face with how we might die at any moment, as any mountaineer does, can help us free ourselves and bring clarity about what is vital to us. We see this freedom and clarity often, too, in people who have 'terminal illnesses', or simply as people get older... and wiser;)
    (I put 'terminal illnesses' in quotes because one could make an argument that living is a 'terminal illness')
     
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  17. Laron

    Laron Healing Facilitator & Consciousness Guide Staff Member Administrator Creator of transients.info & The Roundtable

    Has anyone else had an NDE?
     
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  18. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    Yes, it came up recently that I'd had a few when I was very young.
    I think it changed my outlook on death as I've always seen death as part of life and sometimes even an opportunity to do great things.
     
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  19. Sinera

    Sinera Visiting Paragon Staff Member Moderator

    I had a 'possible' one during surgery although it was never clear if it was "ND" because I was not told that I was in danger and did not perceive it then. However, I perceived 'relief' of the surgeon during my hovering in the surgery, when his thoughts told me that 'now' (!?) everything was okay again after all and it was finished. So I might have 'passed over' for a short while and they re-animated? It was a very harmless surgery on the nose septum though, but I was afraid back then that sth would be happening, maybe that triggered the OBEs. It was also during my awakening phase in general (2008-2009).

    Strangely enough, when I asked the surgeon during the post-op debriefing if all had been alright during the process and if one could become conscious (or 'dream') during anaesthesis and see the surgery room he reacted strangely and evasive (maybe it was his belief system though).

    Also I had a huge hematoma where the cuff at the arm for the controls of the anaesthesist had been, although I believe it might be normal to get them. That cuff on the left arm was too tight I suppose.

    Still, I so far came to the conclusion it was rather a two-phase OBE during surgery, or a 'quasi-NDE'. And it was my first OBE (or rather two very different ones in one), by the way, except for a childhood one. Well, at least the first involuntary one in the new millennium.
    :-D
     
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  20. Laron

    Laron Healing Facilitator & Consciousness Guide Staff Member Administrator Creator of transients.info & The Roundtable

    I noticed your mention of this time period in another recent thread. That's exactly the time period my period began more strongly. I thought that was interesting.
     
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  21. Anaeika

    Anaeika Visiting Paragon Staff Member Moderator

    Lila , I think you would enjoy working or volunteering for hospice. This was my favorite area I’ve worked in the past because it was a real acceptance of the inevitable; a switch to palliative care no longer tries to fight or fix things. Clients focused on the life they had left and spiritual questions. The modality of care and its practitioners are different too. For example, hallucinations are called visions and are seen as real. I have some stories suggesting how real these experiences are. Common ones were of the dying seeing a crossed over loved one, conversing, and helping them get ready to depart. What is interesting is that if a volunteer animal or a person with Down’s Syndrome were in the room, they could see the presence too. It’s a SHARED experience. It’s REAL, folks! (I realize I am preaching to the chior in this forum. :) )

    In regards to having an NDE, I think I had one, but it was atypical, as I didn’t get as far as seeing the light. I have a memory from when I was 2 or 3 by my grandmother’s swimming pool. I was sitting by my mom with our feet in the water. She was reading the newspaper, so her attention wasn’t fully on me. I walked down the steps and was under water. I felt the water pulling me into the deep end, but then felt discarnate hands pick me up and put me back on the steps. My mom still doesn’t know what happened there, but was shocked it happened. I wonder if it was my deceased great-grandmother who saved me, as I used to see her spirit body when visiting my grandparents’ home. I feel she is a guardian of mine.

    In college, I used to go to NDE groups. It was the first time that I ever felt like I belonged anywhere, as the other NDE’ers were highly spiritual people. This is also where I met medium George Lugo—a time before he spiritually came out of the closet. And I was also taking courses w/ Dr. Gary Schwartz, who studies this sort of thing from a scientific process.

    So anyway, yes, I definitely believe in after death communication. I guess my awakening happened around 2003 & onward, as this was a time I was exploring the same questions Lila is currently asking. My beloved grandmother died in 2003, so I was seeking answers.

    I’ll end this post with some quote by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a pioneer for hospice and death:

    I've told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated.

    For me, death is a graduation.
    For those who seek to understand it, death is a highly creative force. The highest spiritual values of life can originate from the thought and study of death.
     
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  22. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    LOL! And this is why I love this place. I write a 2 liner and you folks say so much more of what I refer to, so eloquently, too<3:-D

    Yes, I too have wondered about the link of NDE's and OBE's as I seem to have done both at the same time as a small child a couple of times, under duress. Does the one trigger the other? I'm itching to hear/see what I experienced while I was 'out' as I feel it was pivotal. All I have so far is a visual from above (for each episode) of my little body struggling, fighting and then becoming quiet and limp. I wonder what happened then for me? It was surely protective of me as it scared the $#)(&* out of the person holding me so I was able to come up for breath again and revive.

    Me too. That's when I got really sick and had to reinvent my life:)

    Of course (because synchronicities like this abound on RT) that is something I am currently looking into:fp<3... for all the reasons you mention.
    It's like once death is accepted all kinds of other beliefs and things can be too. Lots of veils come down and one can live in a way like never before. These are the conversations I like the most, the important conversations. Deathbed/hospice is not the only setting in which this occurs. Explorers and adventurers talk about this too, mentioning how invigorating life is at that edge of death and how meaningful it makes each moment. I have done my share of 'careful' adventuring too<3, and resonate with this strongly.
    Yes, EKR has some great ideas and this one summarizes so much about my thoughts on death. Death is, in so many way, the (possibility of as not everyone takes up the opportunity) ultimate spiritual moment. Thank you for that beautiful quote:D
     
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  23. Stargazer

    Stargazer Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    In situations like that, I sometimes wonder if it might have been a possible "choice point", where we're given a choice as to whether to continue on in this incarnation or not. I strongly feel that I've had several of those throughout my life...no NDE's or mystical experiences that I can recall, but once I fell off a ladder and severely bent my neck forward. I've also had a couple of accidents where I was unconscious for a short time. In looking back at those moments, it occurred to me that these incidents might have been such a choice point. I'm sure my answer to the question "whether to continue or not" was a resounding HELL YEAH, I want to continue! There's MUCH too much cool stuff going on to miss out!

    :D
    :)
     
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  24. Anaeika

    Anaeika Visiting Paragon Staff Member Moderator

    Stargazer , I wonder what memories would come up for you in a QHHT session in regards to your signposts of getting to leave here. I advice you to record that question down and when you are ready, you can pull it out and discover, if you so choose to know this information.

    When in the NDE group, all of the NDE’ers had a choice of whether to come or go. Each one saw a barrier to cross, which is different for everyone. If they chose to cross it, then it resulted in physical death. They also may have seen guides who told them they need to go back to complete x,y, or z. They also described an all-knowing and all-loving experience too, along with a life review. However, some had what is referred to as negative NDEs too, such as going to a hellish or purgatory-like environment, yet they had the free-will to leave it too, if they allowed themselves to do such. One of the guys in a negative NDE quoted Bible verses to get out. Another practiced self-love to get out. I think it has to deal with if someone holds a lot of guilt & shame about their life choices. But they did come back, at least the ones I’ve met, thankful for a second chance to live their life in a rebirthed way.
     
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  25. Anaeika

    Anaeika Visiting Paragon Staff Member Moderator

    Lila : This is how I feel too! Glad I am not the only one! :tsgn

    “LOL! And this is why I love this place. I write a 2 liner and you folks say so much more of what I refer to, so eloquently, too<3:-D
     
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  26. Stargazer

    Stargazer Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    Great idea! :) Thank you! :) <3
     
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  27. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    From Bernie's unspun, a beautiful article about death from a buddhist perspective: https://www.lionsroar.com/how-will-you-die/

    Again, someone seems to be saying the words I mean: "Death is the most important spiritual teaching"
     
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  28. Hailstones Melt

    Hailstones Melt Boundless Creation

    This is a great continuation of this thread. Thanks for the interesting outlooks and perspectives. I have been lucky to have been accepted as a volunteer for a nursing home for aged people, which has some similarities to a hospice, as they have 24/7 medical care if they need it. I also see death as a graduation, and cause for celebration for those left behind, as the person has asked to be born, has been willing to try at whatever energetic level, and sometimes gifted the world with a contribution, has fully participated and is now in the lead up to the ultimate change of gear. Of course, those in the nursing home may not have this view, but I will keep it in my heart - no need to say anything!
     
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  29. Lorna Wilson

    Lorna Wilson Visiting Paragon Staff Member Global Moderator

    There is a HUGE amount of soul growth that takes place through the death process for the individual and I can't image that in this system that we have here on earth that we will lose that opportunity. Some people can die very slowly over years giving them even more consciousness processing time.

    In Jurgen Ziewe book he writes abut meeting his deceased brother-in-law who shares with him about the value of dying. Let me see if I still have a copy of the book and then I can share more specifically. I tend to give away my books so I may not have it.


    [​IMG]

     
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  30. Lila

    Lila Boundless Creation Staff Member Moderator

    You guys make me so happy!
    I guess in the back of my mind I'd hoped a conversation about ways of dying that are fulfilling, personal and unique to each person would come about, and here it is<3
    Hailstones Melt, I can almost see you sitting at the nursing home, quietly holding space for those around you for whatever they need to do. Being the silent facilitator of wonderful things nobody even knew they needed or wanted.
    @Lorna, thanks so much for sharing from your treasure trove! I can't wait to spend a bi of time with it.
    For now, I'm off to my parents to help with the process of my father.
     
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