Around the middle of June this year (2016) I had a major heart attack, which (thanks to a brilliant surgeon and his team) I survived.
A lot of the details of my experience are very fuzzy, or simply non-existent; however, there is one that is still crystal-clear and sharp in my memory. At some point - presumably whilst I was on the operating table having a triple-by-pass and some other more minor frills - I went to a different ‘space’. I was told, later, that I had died, and that it was a “miracle” that I survived - only high-tech gadgets kept me functioning - so I do believe that this memory I will share with you is a genuine NDE - I went ‘somewhere else’, and returned to my body to re-animate it.
I have been persuaded to recount this experience, since it may help others confronted with any similar situation; whether it does or not is, of course, entirely up to the individual….
I am 71, spent most of my life at sea, earned the handle ‘Captain’, and then morphed into being a single Dad for my daughter. I re-married after my daughter graduated from Uni.
Religion? I was brought up in a Protestant (C of E) family and school - but in my mid-teens I discovered Buddhism. To me, it just ‘clicked’, and I never looked back. I am not a ‘practising Buddhist’, but my life philosophy is definitely Buddhist.
The last coherent memory that I have of my heart attack is of saying to my wife “I think it’s time to call an ambulance”. I have a vague recall of a Medivac flight from Launceston, across the Bass Strait, and then nothing until I woke up in the ICU ward of a very specialised hospital - Epworth - in Melbourne. That probably covers a couple of weeks - I honestly don’t know - there is only one memory of that period that I have, which is still as clear, sharp and fresh today as I write this (three months later) as things that happened five minutes ago. The following is that memory…..
I found myself in a ‘space’ that felt very calm - peaceful, secure, tranquil and safe. It was also almost featureless - like being inside a balloon. The only colour around me was beige, with fawn-coloured swirls, slowly moving randomly through it. Randomly, for short periods, the colour of my surrounds would change to a beautiful blue/green/turquoise shade that was without swirls or anything else.
I also saw straight-line geometric shapes occasionally superimposed on this - lines, triangles, squares, polygons ….. in black - superimposed on the background beige colour. NO curves at all. These lines were only on the fawn/beige background - not on the turquoise.
Suddenly, there was an intrusion to the ‘sameness’ of the beige and the black lines; incongruously, a packet of ‘Daz’ laundry detergent floated gently past from right to left amid the geometric shapes….
‘Daz’ was (and is still) a British brand of laundry detergent, going back years - I was surprised to learn that it is still on the market today. It was one that my mother used, and I clearly remember it from childhood.
I watched it, drifting from right to left across the fawn and geometric ‘wall’ of my space, amid the black, straight-line shapes…..
Later, I realised that it could only be a ‘message’ from my mother - she was saying 'Hi' how she could ….. using an item that I would associate with her from way back…. letting me know she was there…… waiting to greet me.
Then I somehow became aware that while the surfaces were in the turquoise/blue phase, I had the option of moving through them, simply by pushing through to the other side - but it was a one-way trip - my body (in 3-D physicality) would die.
Obviously, I opted to postpone that …… I guess I figured I still had (3-D) things to do.
My next memory is of the intensive care ward …… and that memory is vague, disjointed and fuzzy.
In hindsight, the above experience is my clearest, most detailed and coherent memory between the heart attack, and my return to Tasmania. If I live 100 years more, I am certain I will not forget it.
Perhaps I am just looking forward to pushing through that turquoise-blue ‘wall’ next time……. Hallo, Mum!
Someday, I’ll meet you there…..
Love, Peace, and Best Wishes,
~~Bernie.
A lot of the details of my experience are very fuzzy, or simply non-existent; however, there is one that is still crystal-clear and sharp in my memory. At some point - presumably whilst I was on the operating table having a triple-by-pass and some other more minor frills - I went to a different ‘space’. I was told, later, that I had died, and that it was a “miracle” that I survived - only high-tech gadgets kept me functioning - so I do believe that this memory I will share with you is a genuine NDE - I went ‘somewhere else’, and returned to my body to re-animate it.
I have been persuaded to recount this experience, since it may help others confronted with any similar situation; whether it does or not is, of course, entirely up to the individual….
I am 71, spent most of my life at sea, earned the handle ‘Captain’, and then morphed into being a single Dad for my daughter. I re-married after my daughter graduated from Uni.
Religion? I was brought up in a Protestant (C of E) family and school - but in my mid-teens I discovered Buddhism. To me, it just ‘clicked’, and I never looked back. I am not a ‘practising Buddhist’, but my life philosophy is definitely Buddhist.
The last coherent memory that I have of my heart attack is of saying to my wife “I think it’s time to call an ambulance”. I have a vague recall of a Medivac flight from Launceston, across the Bass Strait, and then nothing until I woke up in the ICU ward of a very specialised hospital - Epworth - in Melbourne. That probably covers a couple of weeks - I honestly don’t know - there is only one memory of that period that I have, which is still as clear, sharp and fresh today as I write this (three months later) as things that happened five minutes ago. The following is that memory…..
I found myself in a ‘space’ that felt very calm - peaceful, secure, tranquil and safe. It was also almost featureless - like being inside a balloon. The only colour around me was beige, with fawn-coloured swirls, slowly moving randomly through it. Randomly, for short periods, the colour of my surrounds would change to a beautiful blue/green/turquoise shade that was without swirls or anything else.
I also saw straight-line geometric shapes occasionally superimposed on this - lines, triangles, squares, polygons ….. in black - superimposed on the background beige colour. NO curves at all. These lines were only on the fawn/beige background - not on the turquoise.
Suddenly, there was an intrusion to the ‘sameness’ of the beige and the black lines; incongruously, a packet of ‘Daz’ laundry detergent floated gently past from right to left amid the geometric shapes….
‘Daz’ was (and is still) a British brand of laundry detergent, going back years - I was surprised to learn that it is still on the market today. It was one that my mother used, and I clearly remember it from childhood.
I watched it, drifting from right to left across the fawn and geometric ‘wall’ of my space, amid the black, straight-line shapes…..
Later, I realised that it could only be a ‘message’ from my mother - she was saying 'Hi' how she could ….. using an item that I would associate with her from way back…. letting me know she was there…… waiting to greet me.
Then I somehow became aware that while the surfaces were in the turquoise/blue phase, I had the option of moving through them, simply by pushing through to the other side - but it was a one-way trip - my body (in 3-D physicality) would die.
Obviously, I opted to postpone that …… I guess I figured I still had (3-D) things to do.
My next memory is of the intensive care ward …… and that memory is vague, disjointed and fuzzy.
In hindsight, the above experience is my clearest, most detailed and coherent memory between the heart attack, and my return to Tasmania. If I live 100 years more, I am certain I will not forget it.
Perhaps I am just looking forward to pushing through that turquoise-blue ‘wall’ next time……. Hallo, Mum!
Someday, I’ll meet you there…..
Love, Peace, and Best Wishes,
~~Bernie.
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