Adverse Early Experiences and Healing (1 Viewer)

[Sowmya Kshtriya]

I came across this and wanted to share with you all.
What do you folks think about this quote?

'The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places." —E. Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms.

 

[Lila]

I guess that means that if you live long enough you can be strong in just about anyplace, lol!
It certainly implies a value to experience

 

[Snowmelt]

If you have the soul of a fighter, a hurt will make you strike back against your perceived foe even more strongly. But the ultimate success would be to attain a state of detachment, rejecting all extremes and just observing, while applying non-judgmental attitude and unconditional love, to allow real forgiveness to exist. That is the enlightened state we hope to reach in this life or the next.

 

[Stargazer]

In the world of metallurgy, a similar process is called "tempering". The blacksmith repeatedly heats and cools a metal article (like a sword) to change its molecular structure. As it softens through the process, the metal becomes much more flexible and strong.

To apply the same analogy to our own human existence, our "Higher Self" can be seen as the blacksmith, life provides the heating and cooling that tempers us, and we are the sword.

 

[Krena]

Sorry, but often I just get pooped from too much poking, breaking, meanness, ill temper, ill will, illness, stupidity, bad manners, bad drama, rudeness, narcissism, sociopathy, greed, selfishness, inconsideration, inequality, and other general ick.

I wish the words of Hemingway were true. For me. For all of us. It depends on how much breaking. Hemingway said "many" get stronger, not all. He killed himself.

 

[Linda]

I am of two minds about this idea because I am thinking back to my childhood, that of my children, and that of my parents. My observation is that with loving and knowledgeable support some may make it through.

In parents' time, many things were not discussed and people were left to deal with events on their own, which rarely worked out well. Their messed-up ways of coping (anger, multiple personalities, alcoholism) were visited on their children. These children then had a double dose of events to deal with, and some made it through.

As times changed and there was more awareness, some people received the support they needed. The ones who made it through were in better condition to help their children, but the others, not so much.

To use examples of bones healing and tempering metals, it is true that the end result may be stronger, but only if there is someone who understands the process doing the work.

 

[Stargazer]

Sorry, but often I just get pooped from too much poking, breaking, meanness, ill temper, ill will, illness, stupidity, bad manners, bad drama, rudeness, narcissism, sociopathy, greed, selfishness, inconsideration, inequality, and other general ick.

I wish the words of Hemingway were true. For me. For all of us. It depends on how much breaking. Hemingway said "many" not all. He killed himself.

No apologies necessary, Krena...I'm sure every one of us is with you on this. We're all tired of seeing so many others "misbehaving". They're all still fast asleep in their illusion of separateness...

To use examples of bones healing and tempering metals, it is true that the end result may be stronger, but only if there is someone who understands the process doing the work.

As we all become more aware of our multi-dimensional nature, I think it's very important to remember that this physical life we're experiencing now is just a tiny, tiny part of our True Essence. Even those who appear to have been "broken", period, (like Hemingway) aren't! In their physical life experience, they may never appear to have recovered from what life threw at them, but at a soul level, they aren't broken! They had a life experience, the "higher" part of them learned valuable lessons from that experience, and the essence of them lives on even stronger than before.

Once we start looking at life from the larger or "higher" perspective (that life is truly eternal), many of the tragedies, challenges, and difficulties we face make so much more sense. The journey may be filled with steep slopes, deep rivers, and large boulders to overcome, but the view from the top of the mountain is so spectacular it's worth every scrape and bruise we experience along the way!

 

[Sinera]

The quote put a little more simply: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Or so.

 

[Vickie]

The quote put a little more simply: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Or so.

 

[Lila]

What this most reminds me of is the long dream I posted under the thread 'Dreams', the part where:

"What came out of my mouth was a surprise to me; “You can do this again. You can do this as many times as you like but you can’t silence me! You can even kill me, again and again, but you can’t silence me. You can kill me, maim me, torture me, enslave me, do your worst, as you have done so many times, but you can’t silence me."

 

[Lila]

BTW, love the song pick, Vickie ! !

Krena , love your posts and boy, isn't it time already for less drama, more peace!

Linda , I guess that's where the trust comes in, lol. Trust that we are being tempered just as we need to be... ie that we are exactly where we need to be even when we're desolately crying by the side of the road (where is the 'crying out loud' or 'balling my eyes out' emoticon when I need one?) Sigh...! Yes, working on that one too...

Even those who appear to have been "broken", period, (like Hemingway) aren't! In their physical life experience, they may never appear to have recovered from what life threw at them, but at a soul level, they aren't broken!

Stargazer , can I just channel you when I'm feeling down or when I'm afraid someone I love could be going down a road that could lead down the 'despair road', lol?


Another 'resiliency' song even more familiar to me is 'The Confrontation' between Jean val Jean and Javert in Les Miserables with Jean val Jean, caught, cornered and about to 'lose it all' again, sings sonorously "I'm a stronger man than you by far. There is power in me yet. My race is not yet run!"
Then, against all odds, he escapes

Hmm, I knew those lines by heart
Nowadays, the Les Mis song that has most been resonating with me has been "Let Him Live"
I could listen to that all day
Maybe I will

 

[Out of Time]

If you have the soul of a fighter, a hurt will make you strike back against your perceived foe even more strongly. But the ultimate success would be to attain a state of detachment, rejecting all extremes and just observing, while applying non-judgmental attitude and unconditional love, to allow real forgiveness to exist. That is the enlightened state we hope to reach in this life or the next.

Lol, maybe we reached that state in the last several incarnations before we came here and now we are trying to remember it.

I am just curious, wasn't the whole idea of coming to the lower dimensions to experience duality and have the mindset that goes with it? If so, should we abandon it while we are still here? What if the aim is to be able to integrate both duality and a higher dimensional perspective?

When I hear transmissions from high dimensional sources, I tend to divide them into 2 categories: those who have no idea what it is to be in 3d/4d; and those who have had that experience. The ones belonging to the first tend to be super excited about everything we experience, while the ones who fall into the second seem to be much more benevolent than indifferent.

 

[Linda]

My reply is not from a theoretical perspective. It is about the here and now where people I love and care for are struggling with alcoholism, serious illness, etc.

It falls to those of us who do have some awareness and understanding to help others by bridging the gap. I don't mean fixing a situation, but suggesting a different way of thinking and feeling.

In my parents' younger years, the people who could do this were few and far between, which is why many of their issues were passed on to their children. Some of us made it through. The others, well you can see them in the news everyday.

This was what I was trying to say.

 

[Stargazer]

Stargazer , can I just channel you when I'm feeling down or when I'm afraid someone I love could be going down a road that could lead down the 'despair road', lol?

Absolutely! I'm no farther than your next thought away...

I am just curious, wasn't the whole idea of coming to the lower dimensions to experience duality and have the mindset that goes with it? If so, should we abandon it while we are still here? What if the aim is to be able to integrate both duality and a higher dimensional perspective?

I feel we're all are here for many different reasons. Some to simply observe, experience, and learn. Some to serve as catalysts for growth--or to keep us immersed in this illusion for as long as possible. There are yet others who are here to help raise consciousness--to "light the way" so that those who are ready can find their way on to new realms of discovery or creation.

In the end, the choices and the path of our journeys are up to each of us.

It falls to those of us who do have some awareness and understanding to help others by bridging the gap. I don't mean fixing a situation, but suggesting a different way of thinking and feeling.

Linda? You're clearly one of the "Lighthouses". Your light is beautiful and I think you're doing a stellar job!

 

[Snowmelt]

My reply is not from a theoretical perspective. It is about the here and now where people I love and care for are struggling with alcoholism, serious illness, etc.

It falls to those of us who do have some awareness and understanding to help others by bridging the gap. I don't mean fixing a situation, but suggesting a different way of thinking and feeling.

In my parents' younger years, the people who could do this were few and far between, which is why many of their issues were passed on to their children. Some of us made it through. The others, well you can see them in the news everyday.

This was what I was trying to say.

Linda, I'm with you all the way in terms of translating our higher knowledge into our actions and responses in our real lives....
Theory is one thing that is up there with ideals and religion - they just don't work unless fully understood and integrated, and played out. What I love about the format of our free will universe is that renewal and rejuvenation just keep coming through, in the form of new day, new night, new season, new year.

While writing out the terms "non-judgmental attitude" and "unconditional love" it does sound high-falutin' and unattainable. But the thing is practiced response. Having messed it up on one occasion, just practice with the next.

Just in this last week my house has been "egged" by an unhappy suitor of my daughter..... so I am getting plenty of opportunity to practice what I do believe in. While we have to react appropriately and not be "walked over", I am happy to report anger at the perpetrator did not arise in my heart. In a more communal society, the young man would have better inputs to help him understand life, and hopefully expand his outputs through a more expansive heart.

SG, love your enthusiasm, you're more like a fountain than a tap.

 

[Krena]

To use examples of bones healing and tempering metals, it is true that the end result may be stronger, but only if there is someone who understands the process doing the work.

Linda is correct. I work with silver. You need to know the process. Too much bending causes breaking.

 

[Sowmya Kshtriya]

Beautiful thoughts everyone! Loved reading the quote through the spectrum of your colours.
From a developmental psychopathology perspective, experiencing life as we all grow is a combination of both risk and resilience factors. Risk factors may break us but resilience factors have the potential to make and heal us. But we cannot do it alone, we need each other.
Linda, you give such a balanced perspective on it, I couldn't agree more.

 

[Brian]

To climb out of the abyss will only help you in the long run. A broken piece of pottery may have its chance once again to be shaped and hardened in the crucible of rebirth.

The challenges that present themselves give us the opportunity to walk upon stepping stones towards our future self.

Suffering breaks everyone, but once overcomed, you break the cycle instead.

You can touch thy body but never thy soul. Subdue the Earth by bringing your spirit to its stead.

To grow, to change, in a world that is temporary, for a soul that is beyond memory.

 

[Lorna Wilson]

'The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places."

Your question of 'what do we think' of the quote might not be the same as 'what is the meaning' of the quote, so I will choose to share what I think of the meaning.

This is the whole quote:

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.

If we live in seclusion from others and the rest of the world we have little opportunities for emotional content that not only engages our senses but often takes us out beyond our comfort zones. Out beyond our CZ when we enter the 'world' are many things that stir the heart and mind taking us through many layers of feelings both pleasant and disturbing. When entering the 'world' or the interplay with others, we are more likely to expand through the breaking or wounding of our 'heart/mind' allowing insight and extended awareness to take root, leading us to more insights etc.

 

[Pod]

I came across this and wanted to share with you all.
What do you folks think about this quote?

'The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places." —E. Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms.

Ernest Hemingway was an alcoholic who shot himself.

I hope we can change our world so that people do not need to be broken and suffer so much.

 

[Snowmelt]

I'll never forget the profound effect my first reading of The Old Man and the Sea had on me, at about age 14. It was the first time I realised you could cover a whole Universe of thought in a short-length story. His economy of words whilst creating a world you occupy yourself was sublime. I am sorry that the human condition encourages someone as sensitive as that to numb themselves so effectively that they drop out of existence. Pain, hardship and challenge are not worn as a badge by some, but dragged as a clunking chain, manacled neck and feet.

 

[Lilia]

how about "the world mirrors the brokenness a child experiences through upbringing, each time it pokes the wound again it invites us to let the light of the soul spill out and flood it with awareness so that the world may soften for the wellbeing of all and future children?"

 

[Lorna Wilson]

Ernest Hemingway was an alcoholic who shot himself.

I hope we can change our world so that people do not need to be broken and suffer so much.

We think that alcoholics or suicide victims are in some way humanly deficient, but I've discovered that some of our most advanced souls come in with lots of 'imperfection' as a spiritual path to work through. There are also the cases where a soul is quite evolved in many ways but then have some weakness to overcome. Spirituality has nothing to do with being a 'good' person with 'good' habits. e.g Edgar Cayce was a chain smoker using one to light the other, Hemingway through his own pain touched many of us with his insights gained through such pains. Wisdom doesn't come to us unless we are immersed in the human condition which the conscious mind might judge as awful, but the soul delights in........

 

[Sowmya Kshtriya]

Your question of 'what do we think' of the quote might not be the same as 'what is the meaning' of the quote, so I will choose to share what I think of the meaning.

This is the whole quote:

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.

If we live in seclusion from others and the rest of the world we have little opportunities for emotional content that not only engages our senses but often takes us out beyond our comfort zones. Out beyond our CZ when we enter the 'world' are many things that stir the heart and mind taking us through many layers of feelings both pleasant and disturbing. When entering the 'world' or the interplay with others, we are more likely to expand through the breaking or wounding of our 'heart/mind' allowing insight and extended awareness to take root, leading us to more insights etc.

Aww this is beautiful Lorna!! Well articulated
Thank you!

 

[Stargazer]

I just read this blog post/article this morning and immediately thought of this thread. The article is on the Japanese concept of "Kintsugi", the art of being broken. It's a rather lengthy read, but the idea and the accompanying fable are beautiful. They creatively sum up the idea that the challenges we face and the strength we gain from them only enhance our beauty as humans and eternal souls.

Those who are experiencing difficult times may even find a bit of solace in this writing:

https://alsionsbells.wordpress.com/2016/11/01/kintsugi-the-art-of-being-broken-the-value-and-beauty-of-the-healed/
​

 

[Sowmya Kshtriya]

I just read this blog post/article this morning and immediately thought of this thread. The article is on the Japanese concept of "Kintsugi", the art of being broken. It's a rather lengthy read, but the idea and the accompanying fable are beautiful. They creatively sum up the idea that the challenges we face and the strength we gain from them only enhance our beauty as humans and eternal souls.

Those who are experiencing difficult times may even find a bit of solace in this writing:

https://alsionsbells.wordpress.com/2016/11/01/kintsugi-the-art-of-being-broken-the-value-and-beauty-of-the-healed/
​

Thank you Stargazer for sharing this with me! It is beautiful, especially this part....

"There is an art to being broken and yet more than who you were after the mending. There is a wisdom you gain with growth and confusion. There is a capacity to offer to the world a service of your insight and your compassion. There is beauty in a larger wholeness. There is a grace to our scars. There is a sacred knowing – an inner core oneness that is achieved in the healing that shines out from us when we choose to mend, an offering to others, a way-showing. There is a new strength and powerful connection to a deeper us. Where society today teaches us it is ugly to be damaged and that you will be eternally less, Kintsugi teaches us the value and beauty of the healed – the greater balance and grace of one who has become more than they were. This is how we begin."

 

[Krena]

When we create, my husband and I frequently refer to the concept of wabi-sabi. We are annoying perfectionists in our intent and in the output of all our work, but we know better: there will always be imperfections. And so....we attempt to embrace this concept with grace, but a certain crankiness also inevitably sets in....until we let it go.